


After the fourth time

by ItsTheCharm



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fights, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Past Abuse, Sleepovers, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3378959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsTheCharm/pseuds/ItsTheCharm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon is new at his school and gets lost easily. One day a white-haired boy helps him out - could it be the beginning of a friendship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The door opened again to reveal the same teen: black haired with big brown eyes and tanned skin.

"Um... Sorry?" The boy in the doorway scratched his cheek nervously.

 

It was the fourth time the kid with the weird gravity defiing hair walked into Killua's classroom by mistake. The first time it happened his little mistake got ignored - only those, who sat close to the door looked at him askance. The second time he got more questioning glances, which made him turn a slight pink, but his smile didn't waver. By the third time it was more awkward, after the boy left, the giggles, whispers and mean comments started immediatelly. 

Killua sat in the first row, the closest to the door. The teacher made him sit there in the hope, that being in "spotlight" would stop him from sleeping in class, but the attempt failed terribly. The white-haired boy tried to ignore the rest of the class as much as possible, he knew what they were talking about, he heard them saying the same things for like a week. The class was talking about a certain new kid, who transferred in a week ago. According to them the boy was from the countryside, and he really seemed like a rural kid with his sunkissed skin and naive looks. 

Killua couldn't even tell, when the rumours about him have started, but they got nastier by the time. It wasn't anything new - students often picked out someone and started spreading stupid things about them. Killua knew, that his classmates (and basically the whole school) were talking about him behind his back. He was the sheltered rich kid, who was way too full of himself to talk to anyone from the "common folk". Well, they weren't too wrong, so Killua ignored them - it was the best way to annoy them to death. But when he looked up the fourth time to see the boy in question standing there with his face burning from embarrassment, sheepishly scratching his cheek, Killua felt sorry for the poor kid. He didn't seem like a bad person, looked a lot nicer than the rest of the white-haired boy's class - a bunch of boring idiots, who couldn't do anything but badmouth others. The black haired kid certainly didn't deserve to be treated so rude.

Without realizing what he is doing, Killua stood up and moitoned the lost boy towards the hall before the situation could get more awkward as it was already. He shut the door behind him with more force than necessary hoping this got his message through loud and clear, before turning to the newcomer. The boy resembled with his big brown eyes a kicked puppy. Killua shook his head to get rid of the stupid thoughts he had and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Let me guess, you're lost," he said.

The boy let out a sheepish laugh and it was surprisingly charming.

"Yeah..." He nodded as if he just admitted something embarrassing. "But I can't help it, this place is a maze!" He whined with puffed up cheeks.

Killua just shrugged, he didn't think it was that bad, but he was used to this place already. 

"How did you find your classes for the past week?" He gave the kid a questioning look. The boy had his sheepish smile on his face again. 

"Kurapika has helped me a lot," he answered. "Without him I would've been in big trouble!" 

Killua only nodded. He remembered seeing him together with the Kurta guy.

"So, why don't you go and ask him for directions again?" He pointed out.

"I can't always rely on him," the other shook his head with an oddly determined look on his face. "I have to learn this on my own!"

"Looks like you suck at it quite badly!" Killua remarked, which earned him a nice grimace from his schoolmate. "So, what class do you have next?" He asked lazily. The black haired boy searched for his schedule.

"Maths in room 405," was the answer. Both of their faces twitched at the mention of the hated subject.

"Whoa, no wonder you couldn't get there, it's in a complete different wing..." Killua shook his head. "Okay, listen closely, I'll tell you how to get there."

"So, you take these stairs, then turn to the right and go through the door at the end of the hall. Then you walk down the hall and..."

Sheer concentration was written all over the black haired boy's face as he listened to the explanation, however, when Killua finished, he could almost see steam raising from his schoolmate's ears. It was obvious, that he didn't understand a word. 

"Do you know the way to your class now?" Killua asked sceptically.

"Yes!" The boy said too quickly - he was a terrible liar.

"Yeah, right!" Killua flicked his forehead. "Don't lie to me, idiot, I saw that you didn't get a word."

The other boy stuck out his tongue while rubbing the stinging spot, looking not too apologetic. Killua clicked his tongue with faked annoyance and started walking towards the stairs.

"Come on, I'll show you the way, before you waltz into my class for the fifth time," he said. The newcomer boy practically jumped with joy as he followed his white-haired schoolmate.

 

"There is your class at the end of the hall," Killua pointed at a door further away. 

"Thank you so much for your help!" His companion flashed a huge smile at him, and it was so dazzling, he felt his own cheeks heat up.

"Uh... no problem..." He mumbled looking away, tugging at white locks at the back of his head. For some reason he felt like an idiot. 

"I'm Gon!" The boy extended a hand to him, the wide smile still on his face.

"Killua," the white-haired teen took the offered hand and shook it slightly. 

Gon's skin was calloused but warm in a comforting way. When they let go of each other, Killua hid his hand into his pocket so he can keep the warmth of the other for a little longer. 

"I hope I can find my next class easier," Gon mused aloud.

"Hah," Killua snorted, "You seem to find my classroom immediatelly, so next time you walk in, I'll just show you the way again."

He didn't even mean it seriously, so he jumped in surprise, when Gon was in his face looking at him with big sparkly eyes.

"Really?!" The black haired boy exclaimed. "That's so nice, thanks a bunch, Killua!"

"Uhm, sure..." He mumbled again, not wanting to dissapoint the other.

"I'm going now, see you later then!" And with a wave of his hand Gon dashed off towards his classroom.

Killua was still taken aback by the other boy's radiance, so he just uttered a "Yeah" before coming back to his senses and shouting after the running boy.

"Hey! If you come to my class without even trying to find your way on your own, I'll kick your ass and won't help you!" 

Gon just laughed at this, the rich sound echoed in the hallway.

"Idiot..." Killua murmured, as he turned around to head back to his own classroom.

 

On his way back he thought a lot about Gon. He really seemed like a nice kid, maybe a little bit strange but in an interesting way. It was a lot easier to talk to him, than to any of the other kids. For the first time since he got to this school, Killua wanted to get to know someone better, become friends with Gon.

The moment he walked into his classroom and met the judgemental looks of his classmates, he knew, he wouldn't wait for Gon to show up, he'd go and find the boy himself.

Even if he has to walk into the wrong classrooms countless of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on [this](http://surprisingly-alive-redshirt.tumblr.com/post/100135839697/consider-the-following) textpost. Finally I could write something decent - it's been almost two months since I posted something *sigh* It's my first time writing an AU, but I love high school AUs, so I couldn't help writing one myself!  
> When does inspiration strike? At 11:45 PM of course, when else... So I had to grab a pen and write down this little fic, before I forget what I wanted.  
> It's unbetaed, so sorry for the possible mistakes!  
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it a little bit!


	2. Chapter 2

Gon didn't know what to expect, when he finally convinced his aunt to enroll him into a public school, but he certainly didn't expect his schoolmates to be this judgemental. Sure, he knew nearly nothing about kids his age, he was homeschooled until now after all - this is why he wanted to attend a public school in the first place. He loved being at home with Mito-san, but he also wanted to be around other kids, make friends and experiencing new things. 

He couldn't think of a reason for this cold welcome, and probably there wasn't any; people always like to gossip and start rumours no matter how old they are. With that in mind, Gon tried not to get too discouraged, besides he found out soon, that not everyone in his school was so mean. Kurapika has helped him right on his first day and several times after that, the teachers weren't so bad either, so maybe this wasn't a lost case - or so he thought. Staying positive only seemed to make things worse though, his schoolmates started giving him names, like "the hyper kid from the boonies" (and this was the kindest thing he heard them saying).

But Gon wasn't the only one his fellow students were talking about. The first time he saw the other "victim" was in a morning right before class had started. Gon had Chemistry and he waited with the rest of the class in the hall for the teacher to let them in.

"Look at that!" He heard a classmate of his grumble, and while it wasn't adressed to him, he looked up anyway to see the source of other's annoyance. All he saw was another boy, probably the same age as them, though he had fluffy looking white hair. The boy walked leisurely past them, even though it was past 8 already, but it didn't seem to bother him, nor his classmates judging looks as he readjusted his yellow skateborad in his hold. 

"Stupid show-off!" The boy standing nearest to Gon scoffed, when the white-haired kid was far enough. 

"If we'd be this late, we'd get into trouble, that's for sure!" Another one grumbled.

"Yeah, and if we'd bring a skateboard to school, the teachers would confiscate it!"

"He came to school on that thing, I saw him..." The first of them said and they looked at each other with disgust, as if coming to school on skateboard would be an unforgivable crime.

"Rich kids like Zoldyck never get into trouble, no matter what they do," the group nodded in agreement.

After that, Gon overheard several similar conversations whenever the white-haired teen showed up. Gon observed him every time. He didn't seem to be oblivious to the mean comments, he just ignored them, what only annoyed their schoolmates and fueled them to say even meaner things about him. Gon couldn't understand them, especially now, that he had talked to Killua. Gon was sure he wasn't like everyone had described him, they talked bad about him because they were envious. 

 

Relief washed over the black haired boy when the bell rang. He always hated Maths, all the numbers and formulas made his brain want to explode. He had double period of it, which made everything worse. His only consolation was, that he didn't have to wander around in this maze of a building searching for his next classroom. Though he now had someone to ask for directions, he just had to make it look like he went to the wrong classroom accidentally - he didn't want his butt get kicked by Killua after all. 

"What is Zoldyck doing here?" Someone asked from behind him, and he immediatelly looked up searching for the boy in question. He spotted his schoolmate standing in the doorway seemingly searching for someone.

"Killua!" He exclaimed. Seeing the white-haired boy made him happy for some reason, he practically skipped to Killua followed by the surprised and confused looks of his classmates.

"Yo!" Killua greeted him casually, though he seemed to be surprised by Gon's enthusiasm as well. 

"What are you doing here?" Gon asked tilting his head to the side. He was happy to see the Zoldyck boy, but he was just as confused as anyone else in the room. 

"I uh... uhm well..." Killua seemingly struggled to find an answer to the other's question, his hand subconsciously ruffling his white hair. "I have Physics next door so I uh..."

"How nice," a sing-song voice interrupted him and both boys flinched. A tall man with narrow eyes and red hair stood behind them, the way he smirked at them made both kids break out in cold sweat. "The two of you seem to get along well, that's cute!" The man snickered. "As much as I enjoy listening to your conversation, I have to go to the staff room, but you are in the way."

"Sorry!" They mumbled in unison and almost jumped to the side to give their teacher space. He gave them one last smirk before exiting the room. 

Both of them let out a relieved sigh when their teacher was out of sight. Gon totally forgot about him when he saw Killua. Having such a creepy teacher made him hate the subject even more. 

"Freaking Pedoclown!" Killua hissed. "How can a pervert like him be a teacher?!" He grumbled completelly snapped out of his previous startled state. 

"Pervert?" Gon repeated. Sure, this man named Hisoka didn't seem to be too pleasant person, but he probably wasn't that bad.

"Of course!" Killua huffed like Gon just questioned an undeniable fact. Maybe he did. "Only perverts get excited because of _Maths._ " He shuddered at the very thought, but Gon just looked at him with growing confusion.

"What do you mean by excited?" 

"... _Huh_?!" Killua gave him a dumbfounded look as if it wasn't him who just said something weird. "You can't be this dense, can you?" He huffed in annoyance but held up his hand to stop Gon's retort. "I'm not going to explain this, you'll see it soon for yourself," he shrugged. "Oh, and let me give you an advice! Never - I repeat -  _never_ let him walk behind you!" 

"Why?" Now it was Gon's turn to look dumbfounded at the other.

"Just don't."

"Okay...?" Gon frowned at the lack of explanation. After hearing all these things, he wasn't sure if he wanted to attend Maths class for the rest of his school life.

"Good boy!" He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Killua pat his head like he was some dog. 

He puffed up his cheeks in annoyance to which Killua only responded with a cheeky grin. Gon felt a strange tingle on the back of his head. He turned around to see some of his classmates quickly avert their gazes and turn away. They were probably talking behind their backs again and it made Gon angry. But before he could do anything, Killua placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Relax!" The white-haired boy said in a soothing tone. "Let them talk, it's not like you can do anything about it."

"But they're saying mean things without knowing you!" Gon even stomped with a foot to emphasize his point.

"Well..." Killua scratched the back of his head obviously surprised that Gon is only concerned about the terrible behaviours towards him. "It's fine, I'm used to it already. Besides they're all idiots and not worth the time."

"You're right!" Gon nodded what made Killua raise an eyebrow. "You're much cooler than them, Killua!"

The reaction was immediate: Killua's face burst into metaphorical flames, even his ears were beet red.

"Wh... what... WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, YOU IDIOT?!" He screeched after finding his voice. "You're embarrassing me!" He huffed while turning away to regain some composure. Gon just watched him at it not minding the insult at all, because Killua looked quite endearing like this. 

"Eeeeh, but I mean it!" He whined, hoping he could get more of this reaction.

Before Killua could react the bell rang, signaling the end of the break. They looked at each other, disappointment clearly written over their faces. Killua turned around to head back to his classroom, but stopped midway.

"Hey Gon!" He called out for the black haired boy, "What's your next class?"

Gon quickly fished his schedule out of his pocket. "History," came the answer.

"Oh, I'll have Literature," Killua said humming before adding: "It's in the same direction..."

"Then why don't we go together?" Gon asked the question his white-haired schoolmate was too shy to word.

"Sounds good," Killua smiled and Gon couldn't help but stare, because that was the first time he saw the other smile for real. He really liked it.

"Okay!" He felt like he could burst from excitement. "See you soon! Wait for me, if you get out sooner!" 

"Sure," Killua nodded and went into his classroom, Gon following suit.

The black haired boy still didn't know what to expect from his school life, especially now that he learned weird things about his teacher and people were still gossipping behind his back, but things got better. As long as Killua was waiting for him to walk together to their next classes he could take on anything - may it be his mean classmates or a creepy teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, I actually wrote a second chapter to this! I originally planned this to be a one shot, but as I previously said, a few people have asked for a sequel, so here it is!  
> My muse wasn't s helpful this time, so I don't know if it's any good. (I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone who was waiting for a sequel, orz)  
> I still have a few ideas, so hopefully there will be a few more chapters in the near future!  
> I'm saying this now: I'm bad with long-term things, so please don't expect too frequent updates! (I try my best to change that, but be warned!)
> 
> Anyway, I hope the chapter wasn't too much of a disappointment! Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Neither of them knew how or when it happened, but they've became friends. Was it after Killua went to see Gon after he helped the boy to find his classroom? Or was it later? Earlier? It didn't really matter in the end, Killua mused, the only important thing was that they were friends now. They'd spent their breaks together when their classes weren't so far from each other and had had lunch together every day.

Weeks went by like this, and Killua had learned a few things about Gon. His dark haired friend had told him about his family: Gon lived with his aunt Mito and her grandmother (though Gon referred to the elderly woman as grandmother too). His father had left him in the care of the two women when he was a baby and he knew nothing about his mother. Gon wasn't mad at his father for leaving him, quite on the contrary, it looked like he admires that man. Killua wasn't too sure about this, it was never easy to tell what the other was thinking - his friend always smiled, but Killua had a feeling that Gon hides a lot of things behind his cheerful attitude. 

Another fact Killua had learned about Gon, that the boy wasn't the best student. He wasn't unintelligent, but it seemed like he has a hard time sitting still and paying attention (Killua couldn't blame him for that - he himself had the best naps during some of his classes). Gon had the most problems with Maths, he did miserably on the tests and Mito always scolded him for that. Killua found himself thinking whenever he had Maths, whether Gon could understand any of the material, or will he get a D on his next test again? Thus the white-haired boy started to pay attention to class more, so he can help Gon later. It seemed to work; after a few afternoons in the library Gon's grades started to improve (even though the improvement wasn't so big, but still) and Killua was glad - he hated seeing his friend feeling down because Mito has scolded him.

Yet another (and the most conspicuous) trait of Gon was his eagerness: the black haired boy was always in motion, always there to do something, to help someone, be it a girl who dropped a few notebooks from the huge stacks she was carrying, or the janitor, whose cap got blown away by the wind and got stuck on a branch of a tree. It wasn't a bad thing at all, Killua thought, he just couldn't figure out how Gon could have so much energy left to help random strangers (though it lessened the mean behaviours towards him significantly - it wasn't easy to act shitty towards someone who smiled so radiantly). People were still gossiping though, and started calling him "Freaks", but truth to be told Gon was indeed a weirdo. It didn't bother Killua the slightest, everything was far more interesting like this after all.

Speaking of being energetic... Gon seemed way too eager to get in trouble. His sense of justice would often get him into meaningless arguments, and - if Killua wasn't around to stop and drag him away - into actual fistfights. Gon would call out everyone for anything (" _You just bumped into that girl, shouldn't you apologize?"_ or  _"Stop calling Kurapika Girly!"_ ) and since Killua couldn't be there all the time, Gon ended up in Chairman Netero's office more often than necessary. Of course every time something happened, the news spread around the school with lightning speed ( _"Hey, have you heard? Freaks got into a fight again!"_ ), so they reached Killua quickly. He immediatelly rushed to the scene to stop his idiot of a friend, or if he couldn't make it, he just waited for him at the chairman's office to yell at Gon for being a stupid reckless idiot again ( _"Just what the hell were you thinking, you moron? Are you some self-proclaimed Superman, or what? What will you tell Mito, if you get punished?"_ ). The first time it happened, their schoolmates were quite surprised by Killua's concern(?) and it earned him some stupid remarks like:  _"What's this, Zoldyck, are you his mommy?"_ Of course everyone around them started laughing, until Killua's fist landed square on the face of the offenders. After that people left them alone - getting on the bad side of Killua Zoldyck didn't seem like a good idea after all.

 

Killua clicked his tounge in frustration as he quickened his pace. The bell rang almost ten minutes ago yet he only got out of class now - Hisoka had held them back with musing loudly for minutes about whether the class should write a test next time or not, clearly not caring about the fact that freaking lunch break has already begun. Turning the corner Killua could see that the cafeteria was already full, his only hope was that Gon arrived in time and saved him a seat.

The hall was always lively, but today it was noisier than usually. Killua didn't care about it though, he fished around in his backpack for his wallet so he can get his lunch and join Gon. 

"What did you say, punk?!" A loud voice echoed through the room. Killua recognized it: it was that bulky guy with that stupid haircut, Knuckle Bine's. He was a member of the Martial Arts Club and would often hold speeches about pride, honour and other meaningless stuff. The white-haired boy spotted him surrounded by other students, his gloomy looking friend with no eyebrows and weird ponytail was there too, looking anxious like always.

"I said take it back!" Another shout was heard and even though Killua was intent on passing the mob, he whirled around so quickly, that he almost lost his balance.  _No way this is happening,_  he gritted his teeth as he shoved others out of his way to get to the center of the circle the students were forming,  _there is no way this moron picked a fight with Bine..._  and yet there Gon stood with clenched fists and an angry frown on his face, glaring at Knuckle with burning amber eyes.

Killua took a deep breath before yelling "What the hell are you doing, you idiot?", startling everyone around him.

He got the attention of the fighting morons too, Gon looked surprised but it was quickly replaced with guilt over getting caught fighting again, the older boy looked simply annoyed that they got interrupted. Killua grabbed Gon's bag and then the boy's wrist and started dragging him away before they got more unwanted attention.

"Killua..." Gon was about to protest, but the addressed cut him off immediatelly.

"Save it for later!" He grumbled, then turned to Knuckle who looked dumbfounded at them. "Whatever he just did, sorry for that! This guy has way too much energy and he doesn't know what to do with it." They reached the exit, when Knuckle snapped out of it, and yelled after them.

Killua dragged Gon outside and they sat down by a big tree. Before the black haired boy could say anything Killua whacked him on the head.

"That hurt!" The boy whined putting on his best kicked puppy look, but Killua didn't let himself get swayed.

"I hope so!" He hissed, "Are you really this bored? I heard you even got into a fight with Hisoka..."

Gon rubbed his head sheepishly at the mention of the conflict with his teacher. "I wasn't fighting him," he said defensively. "He told me that I'll never be able to solve that problem, and I wanted to prove him, that I can! And I will!" By the end of his sentence he had that typical determined expression on his face.

"Good luck with that..." Killua said with an indifferent hum, not sounding like he believes in Gon's success. His friend noticed it too.

"Don't say it like that!" He frowned. "I know, I'm bad at Maths, but I'll do my best so I can show him what I'm capable of!"

Killua just looked at him with an inspecting gaze before he shrugged. "I'm sure you will! Still, if you need help, we can go to the library again." The smile he got in return made his cheeks heat up, so he quickly turned his face away, lest Gon notices. It was time to change the topic. "Anyway, what was that with Knuckle?"

The frown was back on the black haired boy's face, just remembering it made him angry again.

"Pokkle from my class told me that you refused to figth him, and this guy, Knuckle, heard it and said really mean things about you, like you're a loser and a coward and I got really angry because it's not true and I told him to take it back and-"

"Okay, wait!" Killua held up his palm to stop his friend, because he got so worked up that the words spilled from his mouth without pause. "You really picked a fight with him because he said stupid stuff about me?" He punctuated every word of the question, disbelief clear on his face. His friend just nodded sheepishly and opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by the white-haired boy's hand again. "I can't believe you... I told you not to care about them, didn't I?" 

"Yeah, but I can't stand hearing it!" Gon whined. "They're so mean to you, and it's wrong! You're very smart and cool and kind and MMMPH-" The boy couldn't finish listing up his friend's traits, because said friend covered his mouth with a hand.

"Cut it out, idiot, you-" Killua hissed, face beet red, but he couldn't finish his sentence either, because he was interrupted by a loud grumbling noise coming from his own stomach. In all this commotion he totally forgot about lunch break and didn't even buy himself anything.

"Ah, you couldn't buy yourself lunch because of me, right?" Gon asked apologetic, and Killua was just about to snap at him (because really, _whose fault was it again?_ ), when his dark haired friend shoved a lunchbox and a fork into his face. "Here!" Gon grinned at Killua's questioning look. "I'm sharing it with you!"

Killua wanted to protest - even though he couldn't get his lunch becasue of Gon, it didn't feel right to eat his food. Still, the contents of the box looked very appetitizing and another, even louder growl of his stomach made him give in. He took the offered lunch with a faint " _Thanks_ _!_ " and took hesitantly a bite.

"It's good!" He blurted out surprised, stuffing more into his mouth.

"Right?" Gon beamed. "Aunt Mito's cooking is the best!" He exclaimed waving his arms to emphasize his statement and Killua could only nod in agreement.

"Hey Killua..." Gon started after a few moments of silence. "Is it true that you didn't fight Pokkle?"

"Who's that?" The adressed asked back chewing on a mouthful of food.

"He goes to my class. He usually wears a hat, and I think he is a member of the Archery Club."

"Ah right," Killua swallowed his food, "It's true."

"But why?" 

"I wasn't interested in fighting him I guess," he shrugged as he handed Gon the half-empty box back, then rested his back against the tree they were sitting at, hands folded behind his head. "I entered that competition last year because it sounded interesting, but it was so boring, a total letdown," he sighed in disappointment as he went on, "I hoped I'd get a strong opponent, but I got him. He didn't seem too strong and I wasn't in the mood to fight weaklings," he finished with another sigh and a shrug.

Gon just hummed while stabbing the last piece of food - a croquette - with his fork.

"Hey Killua," a hint of laughter in his tone as he held out his fork towards the addressed, "Say 'Aaaaah'!"

The white-haired boy looked at the offered croquette with a blank stare, but it was soon replaced with an embarrassed scowl, a bright red blush spreading on his face quickly.

"GON, WHAT THE HELL?!" He shrieked, and wanted to punch Gon in the face so badly (especially because that brat looked too amused by his reaction), but he didn't want his friend to drop the food - it was too delicious to waste it.

"Come on!" Gon goaded him with a wide grin, raising his hand more, closer to Killua's face.

"No way I'm doing that sort of thing!" Killua snapped turning his head to the side.

"You don't have to say it like that!" Gon pouted, finally lowering his arm and looking like a kicked puppy (again). 

Killua gritted his teeth, the black haired boy looked far too disappointed as he brought the fork to his own mouth. Killua leaned forward, grabbed Gon's wirst and swiftly guided the fork to his mouth, taking the last piece of Mito's cooking. He only realized how close he got to Gon when looking up he could see his own reflection in widened brown eyes. He immediatelly let go of his friend's wrist and crawled backwards to gain some well-needed space.

"There, happy now?" He grumbled not daring to look at Gon, feeling too embarrassed by his own action already. 

Still, when he glanced up, his heart skipped a beat. Gon looked at him with genuine happiness, eyes shining and smile so wide it must've hurt. Killua didn't miss the light blush on his friend's freckled face either.

The bell rang, and for the first time in his life Killua was glad it did. He wasn't sure that he could handle the situation, if it would last longer. They quickly got up and parted ways to head to their classes. Killua cursed inwardly as he jogged to the third floor, because damn, this guy was a real piece of work, and _DAMN,_ he was too weak for him. 

 

The end of the day was near, Killua sat in his classroom playing on his Joystation Vita. His fingers were practically flying over the keys, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He was at a particularly difficult part since a long time, he just couldn't beat that boss, no matter how often he tried and it was ridiculous, yet he refused to look up methods or watch play-through videos. However, things seemed to go well this time, maybe he could finally beat that sucker!

He was so absorbed in the game that he didn't notice the uproar in the hallway - students murmuring, running up and down, excited yells echoing through space.

"You won't believe it, Freaks got into a fight again!" Someone shouted.

Killua let out an exasperated sigh at the news, but tried his best not to get distracted by his friend's idiocy. This was an important boss fight, he couldn't afford to lose his focus.

"Shouldn't you stop him?" A girl's voice asked from above him, but he kept his eyes on the screen.

"Sorry, I'm busy...  _what are you doing you bastard?!"_ Killua answered, adressing the last sentence to the game's protagonist. 

He really had no time for this right now and maybe it was for the best, someone should knock some sense into that weirdo.

"Guys, Freaks got into a fight with one of the Spiders!" Another yell was heard and Killua snapped his head back in anger and disbelief.

 _"WHAT?!"_ He shouted, game momentarily forgotten.

The Spiders were the school's most dangerous gang, no one ever dared to mess with them. The smallest conflict would lead to several injuries, yet as Killua stared at the flashing "GAME OVER" above the dead protagonist, he wasn't so worried about Gon anymore.

He was going to kill that idiot  _himself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, chapter three is finally ready! I struggled with this since Saturday, and could only finish it yesterday (inspiration can be a bitch sometimes, tsk tsk). It got a bit longer, than I expected it to be, and it was a pain to type it but hey, that's how things are!  
> I'm happy, that I decided to make this into a multi-chaptered fic (who am I kidding tho), it was really heartwarming to see people's reactions when I posted chapter 2. I'm so thankful to you all, and I really appreciate the support! ;u; <3 ( ~~Though I'm already losing my mind over keeping the updates frequent ahaha~~ ) I hope I can keep this pace, because I have a few ideas, and it would be stupid, if I'd forget them before I get there...
> 
> ( ~~Please don't kill me for the Joystation Vita HAHAHA~~ )
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

Killua had to wait almost an hour before he could go to see Gon. He wasn't sure what he'll do when he gets there: yell at him, punch him or maybe both. He was the spontaneous type anyway, he'll decide it then. The teacher didn't even dismiss them when he stormed out of the room, and maybe he would get in trouble because of it later, but he really wanted to get to Gon's class before the his friend left.

Students were already leaving in packs when he arrived, but he didn't see Gon amongst them. 

"Hey!" He called out to a group of students, "Did Gon already leave?" They only glanced at him and left without a word, leaving him there with growing frustration.

"He didn't come back to class," it was Pokkle who answered, "He might be still in the chairman's office."

"Thanks," Killua nodded before turning around and sprinting towards said room.

If that idiot didn't return to class, the situation might be worse, than he imagined... but the white-haired boy shook his head to will away this thought and slowed down, he didn't wanted to get caught for running in the hallway. He spotted a blonde figure at the office's door, but he couldn't care less who it was - until he got close enough to recognize the Kurta-boy, Kurapika. Killua eyed the blonde warily, he had a feeling, that his senior might be involved in this too, and that wasn't to reassuring. 

"If you're looking for Gon, he is still in there," the older of the two broke the awkward silence, comfirming Killua's thoughts.

"Thanks," the white-haired boy just mumbled.

Few more minutes passed in silence, but then Killua looked up not being able to hold back his question anymore. "What happened?"

"I don't know the whole story," the blonde answered in a serious tone, his fine features getting sharper. "I heard the noise, so I went to see what was going on.  When I got there, they were already holding Gon down and forcing him to fight one of them. Pairo, my friend went to get a teacher, but the Spiders ran away before the help arrived, and I couldn't stop them alone."

"Is Gon injured?"

"Only his hand," there was a short pause before the blonde answered, probably to collect himself. "They were armwrestling."

Killua only hummed in reply while staring in front of himself. How hard must've those bastards slam Gon's hand against the surface that it got injured?He felt the other's eyes on him the whole time, so he hid his clenched fists in his pockets though he couldn't hide his clenched jaw.

"My name is Kurapika by the way," the blonde broke the stretching silence again, offering a hand.

"I'm Killua," the white-haired boy introduced himself as well, flexing his fingers in his pockets before shaking Kurapika's hand. The introduction was only half-needed, both knew each other's names already. Despite his fine appearance, the blonde had a strong grip, Killua noted to himself.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be much of a help," Kurapika said apologetically.

"Oh no, uhm..." Killua was slighty taken aback. "Don't worry about it, I couldn't get there in time either," he said with a dismissing handwave. To think he was angry because of a stupidvideo game while Gon was in trouble... it was really childish of him. He took a long breath, "You helped him so uhm, thank you... I guess?

It was weird to thank the blonde, especially because the older boy looked at him with inspecting eyes. Gon too stared at him a lot, when he thought Killua wouldn't look (but seriously, did the brat really think he wouldn't notice?), and it always made the white-haired boy slightly uncomfortable. This gaze made him feel a different kind of uncomfortable - Kurapika seemed like the type who watches people a lot and understands them just by observing. It must've been difficult to lie to him.

Suddenly the office's door opened and Gon stepped out catching the attention of both students. When the black haired boy noticed them a wide smile spread on his face.

"Killua! And Kurapika too! You didn't have to wait for me!" He exclaimed while trotting over to his waiting friends.

Killua really had to fight the urge to punch the idiot, because they were still at the office besides he didn't want to make a scene in front of their senior.

"This isn't the time for being so hyper, you idiot! What the hell were you thinking?" He scolded his friend and even though he was angry, it surprised him to see the blonde nod with a stern expression.

"Killua is right, Gon, you shouldn't take the situation so lightly!" Kurapika added, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  _He sounds like a mom,_ Killua thought.

Gon just blinked with his big brown eyes, not understanding this sudden agreement between his friends. "I'm not taking the situation lightly," he pouted, his typical kicked puppy expression in place. "Besides it wasn't my fault!"

"That's new..." Killua remarked, sarcasm dripping from every syllabe. Gon grimaced.

"Anyway, what happened?" Kurapika asked to prevent the oncoming argument.

"I just wanted to go back to my classroom, and I accidentally saw some of the  Spiders scheming something. I wanted to walk away, but then the rest of the group was behind me and they caught me before I could get away. Apparently they know who I am, and one of them wanted me to join them. I refused," he quickly added when his friends blanched, "But they didn't listen, so that guy forced me to have a handwrestling competition with him. I couldn't do anything, but then Kurapika showed up and his friend went to get help."

Killua had to wait a bit before he could make sure his voice wouldn't betray his calm expression.

"How is your hand?" Kurapika broke the silence again, probably sensing the other's internal struggle. Killua's eyes darted to Gon's hand, it was bandaged, but that was all he could make out, because his dark haired friend quickly hid his hands behind his back.

"It's fine, it doesn't hurt at all!" Gon said in a cheerful tone, but it was obviously a lie. His friends only exchanged a knowing look but didn't press on it further.

"I'm sorry to make you both worry!" Gon smiled apologetically.

Worry... the word stirred something up in Killua, but he didn't let it show. "You better be!" He bit out. "You really were in big trouble, what if Kurapika didn't show up?" 

"I know..." The spiky-haired boy whined defensively, but Killua didn't let him say more.

"Yeah, of course!" He snarled. "If you really know, then why is it, that you always get in some sort of troube?" And the scolding went on until Kurapika cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Looks like you're fine now," he adressed his words to Gon, but then for some reason he looked at Killua and his lips curled upwards into a small smile, though it was gone when he continued, "Now you're safe, but you should be careful. The Spiders might attack you again, because they couldn't get you and they've taken interest in you too."

"I will!" Gon nodded with a determined expression, finally looking like he takes the situation seriously.

"Don't worry, I won't let him do anything stupid!" Killua added and the smile was back on the blonde's face.

"Well then, I'm going home now. Take care you two!"

"You too, Kurapika, see you soon!" Gon waved with both hands after their senior.

"We should go too!" Killua suggested, and the black haired boy nodded, following him with a bounce in his steps. 

"I missed my bus..." Gon frowned when they halted at the bus stop. 

"When does the next one come?"

"In an hour," Gon's frown deepened. "What should I do till then?"

"Let's go to the park," Killua said after a few moments of thinking. "Kurapika was right, we shouldn't stay at desolated places now. The park is full with kids around this time."

"But what about you, Killua? Won't you get in trouble, if you'll be late?" Gon's concern wasn"t unfounded, but Killua just shrugged.

"It's fine, I can call someone to pick me up."

"Oh," Gon looked like he was in thought, but then he flashed his dazzling smile at the white-haired boy. "Thank you, Killua!" His tone was equally apologetic and grateful, so Killua guessed he wasn't only thanked for waiting for the bus with the other.

"...Sure."

 

Alluka already waited for him, giving him a big and hearty tackle-hug when he stepped in the mansion's front door.

"Brother, you're finally back!" She chirped while nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm back!" Killua smiled warmly, patting her hair gently. "Sorry to make you wait!"

"Mmmm, it's fine," she pulled back to smile at him, eyes shining. "So, did you buy me the comics you promised?"

At this the smile instantly disappeared from Killua's face, he totally forgot, that he was supposed to buy his sister the comics she wanted for so long. "Uh..."

"You forgot!" Alluka stepped back so she can glare better at him. "That's not fair, Brother, you never forget to buy yourself sweets!"

"I know..." Killua felt himself deflate under her gaze. "I'm sorry, something came up, and I totally forgot about that," it wasn't a lie. "I'm going to buy the comics tomorrow, I promise!"

Alluka let out one last angry huff, then turned around to march towards Killua's room. It looked like he'll have to give her all his candies and let her play on the Joystation the whole afternoon to placate her. Killua sighed, it was the third time that day, that he screwed up something because of Gon. Now he really regretted, that he didn't smack the idiot on the head, when he had the chance to do so. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry, if this chapter isn't so good. Something very sad happened to me last week, right after I updated chapter 3, and things just got worse from then on. Still, I didn't want to make anyone wait, so I tried to write, and this is the result (I've reread all the kind comments I recieved so far to keep me motivated - you guys are really sweet, thank you!). I hope I can get back my swing soon!  
> I don't know if I can update next week, so sorry in advance for the possible delay!  
> I planned this chapter to be longer, but after thinking things through I decided to change some it so the pacing won't be off.  
> Alluka's cameo popped into my mind right before the update haha (poor Killua, Gon totally messes up his life, but he doesn't really mind it. Well maybe a little).
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope the chapter was at least little bit enjoyable.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Contains some violence and blood

The next days they’d spent lunch break together, and though there shouldn’t be any reason for friends to do so, it was still like some sort of unspoken agreement between Killua and Kurapika to not leave Gon alone and give the Spiders a chance to cause trouble. Gon hadn’t minded it at all, he always enjoyed the blonde’s company, and the way he smiled when Kurapika and Pairo joined them the second time, he seemed to understand their true intention and appreciated their presence even more.

After a while even Knuckle and Shoot had joined them. Gon and Knuckle butted heads again and it happened outside of school, so there was no reason to stop them. Killua watched the whole fight and was quite impressed by the older boy’s strength. It was obvious that he was much stronger than Gon, but the spiky-haired boy refused to give up. Still, Gon lost (and was quite upset at first), but atleast their conflict was settled and they reconciled.

The group of four turned quickly into a group of six, making them one of the loudest bunch in the cafeteria thanks to Knuckle’s big mouth. Though Killua preferred to be alone with Gon, the other didn’t seem to mind, and it wasn’t so bad either. Killua found, he enjoyed listening to his schoolmates chatter while munching on the lunch Mito-san prepared for him (she insisted on cooking for him too, when she heard that he almost missed lunch because of Gon), adding his own snarky remarks and snorting his food out through his nose, when Kurapika topped it with his sassy comments. That would usually make Knuckle mad, but thanks to Gon’s, Shoot’s and Pairo’s soothing words a serious argument could always be avoided.

 

 

“Sorry, I’m late,” Kurapika was out of breath as he arrived at their table, it looked like he was running all the way to the cafeteria.

“It’s okay, we saved you a seat!” Gon smiled at him, refraining from a toothy grin in the last moment because his moutth was full with food. Instead he patted the empty chair next to him.

“Thanks!” Kurapika nodded, sitting down with a tired sigh and unpacking his lunch box.

“Where’s Pairo?” Shoot asked.

“Hisoka asked him to collect the homeworks and bring them to the staff room.”

“Who else would aks someone to run an errand at lunch break...” Killua grumbled while eyeing the vegetables in his lunchbox.

“Poor guy!” Knuckle shook his head.

“He always asks me to run errands for him though,” Gon mused aloud, a finger on his chin.

“That’s because you couldn’t keep that big mouth of your’s shut!” Killua snapped at his friend, flicking a red pepper in his direction.

At this a small fight broke out: Gon chiding Killua for waisting food and not eating healthy, Knuckle and even Kurapika (damn, he was really like a _mom_ ) joining him, while Shoot just sat there not sure about what to say or do. When Gon “threatened” Killua, that he will feed his friend, if said friend won’t eat the vegetables on his own, the argument was decided. Killua surrended immediatelly (and with a very-very sulky-grumpy expression on his face) – there was no way he will do something so embarrassing (again) and in front of so many people on top of that. Anyway, Hisoka and Pairo’s absence were forgotten.

But not for too long though. Kurapika glanced with growing frequency at the cafeteia’s clock and entrance, a worried frown deepening on his face after every passing minute. Everyone at the table could sense their friend’s distress, and it was indeed odd, no errand (not even those for Hisoka) took so long.

“He sure takes his time...” Knuckle murmured and it just made the blonde more tense.

“I’m going to check,” Kurapika said hastily stood up from his chair.

“Should we...” Gon started, but the blonde already crossed the hall.

Tense silence fell upon the rest of the group, the remaining four exchanging concerned looks before going back to their lunches. A good half of the lunch break was over already, some students were already leaving, but the two seniors weren’t back yet. Killua noticed, Gon stopped eating and stared expectantly at the entrance, looking like he is ready to get up and search for their friends in any minute. Before he could do so, someone stormed into the hall and shouted:

“There’s something going on between Girly and the Spiders on the backyard! Someone’s already injured!”

The four friends jumped up from their seats in unison with such force, that some of their chairs fell over, but they couldn’t care less, they sprintet out of the cafeteria towards the backyard. As they got closer Killua could already hear some noises, loud thuds and shouts. Knuckle and Shoot were the first to step out of the building, Killua and Gon following close behind. They heard Kurapika yelling from the side, so they turned the corner as quickly as they could.

The sight that greated the small group made them froze for a moment. The first person Killua spotted was Pairo: he lay on the ground on his side curled into himself. His clothes were dirty and he himself was obviously beaten up badly. Only his hands were visible, but they were full with nasty bruises and scratches. He covered his face, and only then when he shifted a little, could Killua see the blood dripping from under his palm. The white-haired boy tore his eyes from the injured with great difficulty, looking around he noticed Kurapika too: the blonde just got up from the ground possibly from being hit, he wheezed, muscles all tense, hair flying in every direction. His left forearm was swollen, his light skin turned into a nasty red colour. Not far from him stood one of the Spiders: it was that huge guy who looked the most aggressive and picked the most fights. The rest of the group stood further away, watching the fight from the sides. Even their leader was there.

“YOU...!!!” Kurapika hollered as he threw himself at the guy in front of him, who just stood there grinning in amusement. “How dare you to do this to Pairo?!”

As if this was the sign, everyone took action. Gon kneeled down beside Pairo, Killua tackled Kurapika to the ground and Knuckle and Shoot went after the Spiders. After that Killua didn’t know what happened around him anymore, he was too busy with holding Kurapika down, which was a more difficult task, than he thought. The blonde was shocked by the sudden surprise attack from behind, but he quickly snapped out of it. He squirmed violently trying to shake Killua off, his strength was impressive despite having an injured arm.

“Let go!” The blonde wheezed, making further attempts to break free.

“Don’t be stupid!” Killua snarled. “They are stronger than you, they’re going to beat you to pulp!”

“I don’t care!” Kurapika’s face turned pale as Killua accidentally pressed on his injured arm, yet his eyes were almost glowing red from sheer anger. “What they did to Pairo... I won’t forgive them!”

Killua winced at the mention of their injured friend and that was enough for the older to shake him off and launch forward. Killua cursed as he threw himself at Kurapika again, but this time it was expected and the blonde dodged him smoothly. However, the white-haired boy had quick reflexes too, he managed to grab the other’s clothes and cling onto him.

“Damn it...!” He cursed through his clenched teeth, he was sure the blonde will shake him off with ease again. “Hey Gon, come and help me!”

But Gon was nowhere and Killua started to panic for real. _Where did that idiot disappear to?_ He really hoped Gon went to get help and wasn’t fighting any of the Spiders. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Kurapika broke free with one powerful tug, the fabric of the blonde’s shirt sliding from Killua’s hold. _It’s over,_ he thought.

“What’s going on here?” A woman shouted behind them. It was Biscuit Krueger, his homeroom teacher and Killua was never so happy to hear her voice.

He whipped around to see Wing and Senritsu kneeling down beside Pairo, who lay there still and Killua didn’t even dare to imagine what have the Spiders done to him what made the always calm and collected Kurapika so enraged. Morel went over to his own students, who fought with the huge guy, but weren’t strong enough to stop him. None of the Spiders were there, they probably fled the moment the teachers appeared. Finally, Killua spotted Gon as he staggered over to him all battered, with a bloody nose and a swollen eye. The black haired boy watched as his teacher carried Pairo away from the scene, and even after Wing disappeared from their sight he stared at the spot where Pairo lay. The bloodstains in the dirt made him upset again, he furiously turned to the direction where the Spiders left. Killua saw this and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. When Gon looked at him askance he just shook his head and looked over to Kurapika. The blonde was in terrible shape – he kneeled on the ground not so far from where they stood, hugging his injured forearm. His shoulders shook violently, his tears left clean streaks as they rolled down his cheeks. Senritsu kneeled beside him, rubbing his back in hope of comforing him. Things were already terrible as they were, there was no need to make more trouble by trying to follow the Spiders, and Gon understood that. Still, he looked like he was about to cry too – whether it was because of what happened to their friends or because he couldn’t do anything against their “enemies”, Killua couldn’t decide, but it wasn’t a nice view. This whole situation was nauseating, he swallowed loudly to will away the tightness in his throat.

Sudden clapping snapped them out of their misery.

“Alright, alright!” Biscuit placed her hands on her hip and looked at them sternly. “Now that everyone had calmed down, let’s go to the Chairman’s office! I’m sure he’d like to hear about this incident!” She whirled around and started walking with energetic steps towards the building.

Though Killua was somewhat relieved that the fight was over, his stomach clenched. Going to the chairman’s office? This won’t end well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry for the delay! My week wasn't too pleasant, but hopefully things will get better from now on.  
> I have to say I'm not really satishfied with this chapter. I had no inspriration, but I wanted to update so I kept writing (and then and rewriting), but I just couldn't get it right... I'm not good in writing action scenes, I'm sorry!
> 
> On another note, I have to thank everyone who was kind, encouraging and supporting when I posted chapter 4. Thank you, you guys rock, and are super sweet!
> 
> I don't know what I could say... I try to get back into my swing, because I really don't want to mess up the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! (I hope this chapter wasn't too much of a disappointment ORZ)


	6. Chapter 6

They walked in silence, everyone being absorbed in their own thoughts. Senritsu moitoned Kurapika towards the infirmary as soon as they stepped into the school. Though the blonde’s shoulders stopped shaking, he still walked with his head bowed down, hugging his injured arm to his chest. He was in a worrying state, but Killua found, he couldn’t worry too much about his senior.

It was obvious that this wouldn’t end well for neither of them, because even though they went there to stop the fight and help their friends, the teachers cared only about the fact that they got involved into trouble. Killua hoped they’d get “only” punished, and the problem would be settled with that. If his parents would find out that he got involved into a fight with the school’s most dangerous students... But he didn’t let his thoughts wander into that direction, because they arrived at the office.

Biscuit waited a few moments for everyone to catch up before knocking on the door. Beans, the chairman’s assistant opened up almost immediatelly, looking baffled at the group of teachers and students. One glance at their battered appearances and the teacher’s stern expressions made him clear it was urgent, so he let them in. They stood in a smaller lounge-like room, Beans rushing over to another door knocking on it twice and waiting.

“Chairman Netero, Miss Krueger, Mr. Mackernasey and their students are here!” Beans announced after a _Yes_ was heard from the other side of the room.

“Let them in!” They heard the chairman’s voice again, and the short man did as intructed, stepping out of the way.

This was Killua’s first (and hopefully last) visit in Netero’s office, so despite his growing anxiety he glanced around curiously. The office was smaller than the previous room, lots of bookshelves lined up at the walls. In the middle of the room stood the chairman’s desk, but Netero wasn’t sitting there. He stood at the window, stroking his long beard and humming. He eyed the strange gathering with growing interest, his gaze wandering from Killua to Gon (and there was a hint of a spark in the old man’s eyes as he looked at the black haired boy), finally his gaze fell on Knuckle and Shoot before looking back at the teachers.

Killua only saw the chairman on the ceremonies but the old man always gave off an easygoing aura and he looked like he is utterly bored of sitting in his office, always waiting for something interesting to happen. The way he walked over to his desk, sat down and looked at his guests proved the white-haired boy’s assumptions.

“Well, well,” Netero snickered, “What brings you here into my office?”

Awkward silence followed his question, no one seemed to know how to answer it. Should they lie? It didn’t seem like a good idea. Killua could have come up with something believable and maybe Knuckle and Shoot could play along, but Gon was a lost case when it came to lying. Saying that they didn’t even want to fight and just went there to check what was going on was out of question too, and though a small voice inside of Killua’s head told him to do so, he just couldn’t bring himself to it. That would have meant he wanted to cowardly pull himself out of the trouble, and it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right.

“We don’t know what happened either,” it was Gon who started talking and everyone stared at him – his friends surprised, the teachers expectant. Judging by his determined expression, he was going to tell the complete truth and Killua wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “Our friend Pairo didn’t show up to lunch break, so our other friend Kurapika went to search for him. And then we heard there was a fight and we went to help.”

“You say you went to help, huh?” Morel looked at them as he readjusted his sunglasses. “But you’re all beaten up, except Zoldyck. So you did get into a fight, right?”

“Besides, why didn’t you come to the staff room instead?” Biscuit added in her typical lecturing style.

It was a reasonable question and they looked at each other helplessly.

“We didn’t think about that...” Gon scratched the back of his head looking at his feet with a guilty expression. “We heard that someone is injured and...”

“And this is exactly why should have come to get help from a teacher, Gon Freecss!” Biscuit cut the adressed off. “What you did wasn’t helping the situation at all! If you came for help, we could have stepped in sooner! All you achieved was getting yourselves injured as well!" She finished the scolding with an angry huff, but continued glaring at them. The students just stared at their shoes, no one daring to say something, and couldn’t say anything anyway, because she was right.

“By the way Zoldyck,” Morel looked at Killua, mockery clear in his tone, ”how come you’re in such a good shape? Did you watch from the sides how your friends got beaten up?”

Killua felt his cheeks heat up with anger, but he didn’t have time to react, because Gon stepped out of the line to glare at the man.

“Killua would never do something like that!”

“Gon, that’s enough!” Killua grabbed his friends jacket and yanked him back beside him. Still holding onto Gon the white-haired boy looked at Morel. “I was doing the same thing I was doing just now – trying to stop an idiot from getting into more trouble than he was in already.”

Morel’s face twitched, but Netero, who just watched them in silence like he watched his favourite TV show, snickered.

“And who injured your friends?” The chairman finally spoke, though he looked like he knows the answer.

“Those punks, who call themselves the Spiders, Sir,” this time Knuckle answered. The teachers exchanged concerned looks, but Netero just hummed.

“Why do you think they did that?” The old man asked his next question.

“Probably because Pairo was the one, who went to the staff room for help last time, when they picked a fight with Gon,” Killua said after a few minutes of contemplative silence. “This is how they payed him back.

“That makes sense...” Knuckle murmured, followed by Gon’s and Shoot’s nods.

“Chairman Netero, what are we going to do about this?” Biscuit turned to the old man, who got up from the desk and walked over to the window again. Killua felt his nervousness returning.

“I want to talk to the other boy’s too,” he hummed, stroking his beard again. Whether he meant their friends or the Spiders, wasn’t clear. “I’ll decide about the punishment later,” he added and Killua’s heart almost skipped a beat, “but the teachers will call your parents to inform them about this incident.”

Killua felt his stomach drop, like someone just dropped bricks into his insides. Cold sweat ran down his temple and he was sure, that all colour disappeared from his face.

“No way...” He breathed out inaudibly, but Gon still snapped his head towards him and his eyes filled with concern.

“Is this really necessary?” The black haired boy asked, alarmed by Killua’s sudden distress.

“Of course it is!” Morel snorted loudly. “If you got into trouble, bear the consequences! Besides, be glad that you got away with it so easily!”

Killua pressed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. Of course, this was an easy out for anyone else, but not for him. He would have taken any punishment, just not this... He didn’t even dare to think about what will wait for him when he gets home. The mere thought made him feel dizzy, a low buzz echoing in his ears. He felt eyes on him, his inner turmoil must have showed itself on his face, so he slowly opened his eyes to look around. Indeed, everyone in the room looked at him with varying amount of worry. Gon even extended his arms towards him in case Killua falls.

“I’m fine,” he muttered and probably he really would feel better, if he could get out of this narrow office.

“You’re dismissed!” Netero announced as if reading his mind.

“Go back to your classes!” Biscuit added, but the lecturing tone was missing.

The white-haired boy burst out of the room, quickly crossing the small lobby (where Beans blinked at him startled from behind his desk), and was out in the hall in a few seconds. His stuff (and everyone else’s) was still in the cafeteria, so he headed there without waiting for Gon, knowing his friend would catch up in no time.

Gon grabbed his shoulder when he reached the cafeteria – they were far enough from the office, so Killua let his friend stop him. He let out a drawn out sigh before turning to Gon. The black haired boy panted for air from running after him, but his expression quickly shifted into a worried frown, when their eyes met.

“Killua...”

“Let’s get our stuff!” The white-haired boy turned away, not wanting to hear what Gon wanted to say. Probably it was a question about his well-being, or maybe what has gotten into him before in the office, and Killua didn’t want to answer, didn’t have an answer. His stomach was already in knots from fear, and he really wasn’t in the mood to explain why, especially not to Gon. His friend saw that too, because he silently followed him. Their stuff was still on that table, half-empty lunch boxes and their bags on the chairs.

The two boys packed their things together in silence, but before Killua could leave, Gon started another attempt to get something out of his white-haired friend.

“Hey Killua... I know you don’t want to talk about it, but do you think your parents will be mad?”

Killua was just about to slung his bag over his shoulder, but his hand halted causing his bag hitting his side. Still, he couldn’t be bothered by it. Mad wouldn’t even cover his parent’s reaction... He swallowed hard.

“Most likely...” He whispered, because he didn’t trust his voice.

“But if you told them that you only wanted to help a friend, they surely would understand!”

Killua threw his head back and let out a loud, humorless and somewhat hysterical laughter at this absurd assumption. Poor naive Gon... Though he wasn’t to blame, Killua only told him, that his parents were strict and controlling, but he never mentioned the “small “ detail, that he wasn’t even allowed to become friends with anyone from the “filthy commoners” as they described others. Gon looked at him with a baffled expression, he couldn’t remember saying anything funny.

“Yeah, right...” Killua huffed while pulling on his hair. But he really didn’t want to talk about this, so he readjusted his bag and walked towards the exit. “Come, let’s go back to class before we get into more trouble!”

Gon followed him after a few moments, and though the black haired boy remained silent, Killua could still feel amber eyes staring at his back.

 

 

Killua opened the mansion’s door hesitantly, only poking his head inside to glance around, then sneaking in, when he saw no one in the foyer. Eerie calm greeted him, what made his heart beat even faster. He was sure someone will wait for his arrival – Gotoh, or maybe his mother, considering what had happened earlier – but it was quiet. He scurried into his room, before he would get noticed, and he remembered only then, that his parents were at a fancy reception that afternoon. It was an important occasion for the family, something his parents planned since months. To think that they would recieve a call like this... Killua flopped headfirst into his bed groaning – he was really screwed. The only good thing was, that _he_ was far away in the other side of the country, busy with his studies. Killua didn’t even dare to imagine, what his reaction would be like, if he’d heard what happened... He shuddered at the mere thought so he quickly got up and went to the basement – Alluka was waiting for him.

His sister lay on her stomach on the floor reading something, perking up at the loud click of the steel door.

“Brother, your’re... back...” Her voice dropped and the cheerfulness disappeared from her face, when she saw him. Quickly getting up and running over to him Alluka grabbed at his sleeves as she looked up at him with big concerned eyes. Killua cursed inwardly, he was sure he wore a poker face when he entered the room.

“Did something happen?” Alluka looked really worried and Killua wondered how bad he must have looked.

“Well yeah...” He averted his gaze, not wanting to look her in the eyes. As perceptive she was, she would immediatelly know, that he was in a real pinch.

Even so, he couldn’t fool her. “They will be mad, right?” Her grip on his sleeves tightened.

“I guess so,” he sighed, but let a weary smile settle on his face. “Don’t worry, they won’t be back till dinner, so we can have some fun till then!”

Alluka gave him one last worried look before taking his hand and leading him further into the room.

“What do you want to play?” She asked him, looking frantically around to find something good.

“Anything’s fine,” Killua shrugged, “I let you decide.”

“Hmmmm...” She pressed a finger on her pursed lips. Then her eyes lit up. “I know! Let’s play chess!”

She let go of his hand to rush over to a closet, disappearing waist-deep in it, as she searched for the board game.

“Found it!” She announced with a happy smile, when she reemerged with tousled hair, raising the game above her head.

A real smile appeared on Killua’s face for the first time in many hours. He was grateful to his sister. He knew, that Alluka disliked chess – she could play it, but it wasn’t her forte, and she hated losing. Still she chose this game, because it involved lots of thinking thus it was a great distraction. Killua sat down cross-legged, setting up the chess-pieces while he listened to Alluka’s chattering – she sweared she would win this time.

 

 

“Young Master Killua, dinner is ready!” Gotoh placed Alluka’s share on the table and looked at him expectantly.

“Bring mine too, I eat with Alluka!” He instructed the butler, eyes still on the board.

“I am afraid I cannot do that. Your parents wish you to spend dinner with them,” the man said in his usual composed tone.

Killua let out a defeated sigh, his stomach in knots again. Alluka grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, before he got up and followed Gotoh out of the room.

When he stepped into the dinning room, the atmosphere froze.

“Yo!” He greeted his family, as he walked with a slouchy posture to his seat.

No one said a word, though he could see the anger in his father’s narrowed eyes, and the way his mother gripped the cutlery it was obvious, that she was irritated as well. His brothers sneaked glances at him too – disapproval clear on Milluki’s fat face while Kalluto stayed impassive.

They ate dinner in silence, but the tension never faded. Killua could barely touch his food, but he still took a few bites. It was prepared from expensive and high quality ingredients like always, but it still wasn’t as good as Mito’s cooking. He was just about to excuse himself, when Silva set his fork down and cleared his throat.

“Don’t you think there is something, you should tell us?” It was obvious who was the adressed.

Killua rolled his eyes to the ceiling as if he was in thought. “...No...?” Killua knew he shouldn’t act like this, but he couldn’t stop himself. His father’s darkening expression made his throat tighten, making it harder to swallow.

“Then let me help you refresh your memory. We got a call from your school today,” Silva said in a quiet tone, what meant he was really angry now. Killua took another bite from his food. There was nothing he could say to defend himself, besides what he did was wrong only in his parents’ eyes.

“I told you so many times before, that you shouldn’t befriend anyone from that place!” Silva’s fist slammed against the table making the plates and cutlery jump.

“Am I supposed to spend six years all alone?” Killua shot back, his frustration from those previous arguments building in him up again.

“I already introduced you to so many people you should become friends with!”

“I don’t need friends like that!” Killua snarled.

“Clearly, you don’t need friends like that either!” Silva looked at him with piercing eyes, but Killua was too angry to care.

“You’re not going to tell me who I should become friends with!” He shouted finally getting up from the table and storming out of the room.

“Killu!” He heard his mother’s hysteric scream behind him and soon a boney hand grabbed his shoulder and Kikyo continued with her wailing. “Why are you doing this, you know, we only want the best for you!”

That was it. That sentence again. Killua felt something snap inside him and he tore himself from his mother’s grip, quickly backing away and hissing at her.

“But Killu!” Kikyo reached out again.

“Don’t... come... near me!” He growled in a low voice, glaring at her with hateful eyes, and his expression made her stop. The situation was similar to that one day and Kikyo must have remembered, how could she not? But the memory made Killua stop as well, he had to remind himself to stay collected, so the happenings from almost three years ago won’t get repeated.

“Leave me alone!” He whispered before turning on his heals and running towards his room, not stopping until he was inside and locked the door behind him.

He leaned against the cold wood, his back sliding down as his legs gave out and he collapsed on the floor, panting for air. His ears were still ringing, but he tried to calm down. He couldn’t allow himself to do that again, he had to keep calm lest something happens again. He got up and dragged himself to his desk. Getting his laptop he nestled himself in his bed, hoping that the internet would keep him distracted enough for the rest of the night.

 

 

The next day went by in a strange mix of numbness and wakefulness. In class he closed the outside world and his thoughts out, focusing only on the sound of his own breathing or heartbeat, not allowing a single feeling pass through his barrier of faked calmness. Only to get shaken up by Gon in the breaks – despite being covered in bandages, it looked like Gon made it into his mission to distract him from whatever he should be distracted. The black haired boy goofed around twice as much than usual, but Killua appreciated it, even though he rolled his eyes at his friend's actions, flicking his forehead and calling him an idiot. Gon just grinned widely, it was a part of their usual banter after all. Killua realized it only now, how soothing it was to be around Gon. His friend's cheerful attitude made him forget about everything, as if they existed in their own safe world. It felt right.

After his last period was over, Killua hurried out of the building. He wasn’t too eager to go home, but being around noisy people wasn’t an option either. He noticed a black car parking near the school’s gates, and he sighed. It was a fancy vehicle, clearly one only rich people owned – a few students even stopped to gawk at it. Killua quickened his pace, he wanted to leave as soon as possible and without getting more attention – this is why he hated being picked up. Though after the last day’s happenings he wasn’t too surprised that someone came to get him.

The cars door opened when Killua got there, but the person, who got off the car made the white-haired boy stop, his eyes widen in horror and backing away a few steps. It was a tall man with long black hair and cold emotionless eyes.

“It’s been a while, Killu,” Illumi Zoldyck greeted him in his usual monotone voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I finished typing this chapter! *twitches* I started typing early afternoon, and finished at night yeah (tho I did other things as well, BUT STILL) This is why I don't like writing longer chapters, but when I started writing, it got out of control...  
> But I'm proud of myself, because I managed to write this without stressing over it! 
> 
> On a side note, Gon and Killua are around 14-15.
> 
> Alluka is precious, I like writing her.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!


	7. Chapter 7

A smaller crowd gathered around the school’s gate, some students still admiring the Zoldycks’ car, but more and more kids looking on curiously, waiting for something to happen. Killua still tried to regulate his heart rate and breathing, a single sweat drop already rolling down his cheek.

“Brother,” he finally croaked, nodding stiffly to the person in front of him.

“Thank goodness, I thought you don’t want to talk to me anymore!” Illumi clapped his hands together, his voice concerned. “It’s such a shame that my university is so far away, don’t you think? We barely see each other, I’m sure you miss me too!” He shook his head, then something resembling a smile appeared on his face. “But I’m glad, you look well!”

Killua gritted his teeth – if he looked well (which he surely didn’t in that moment), it was _because_ he didn’t see Illumi too often anymore, but his brother always seemed to ignore that fact. He really hated it when his brother acted like this – pretending he is happy or worried about something even though he wasn’t – it felt so fake, so sickening. Not to mention Illumi’s behaviours towards him: showing the outside world that he is a nice, caring older brother (and maybe he himself believed this as well), when, in reality, those hands of his could reach out any moment, and pull, yank, slap, _hurt_... Killua took a deep breath in the hope he could mask the shiver with it.

“Why are you here?” He asked instead of reacting to his brother’s previous words. “Isn’t your semester break later?”

“It is indeed later,” Illumi agreed, his voice dropping, expression darkening, the atmosphere changing around him. “Mother called me yesterday”

Killua’s eyes fell shut, his stomach churned. Of course, he should have known...

“She was very upset,” his brother went on, eyes narrowing, “I hope you didn’t...”

“No!” Killua cut him off, there was no need for his schoolmates to know about that. “Nothing happened.”

“Good,” Illumi seemed to be satishfied with the response he got, but only temporarily, as his expression changed again. “But I have to say, I’m really disappointed, Killu. This is exactly why we didn’t want you to attend this school. We told you so many times, didn’t we? We are an elite family, you shouldn’t even care about these...” his voice trailing off, mouth twitching to a despising grimace as his eyes wandered to the bystanders, “...people. This isn’t how Father and I raised you.”

Killua didn’t have to look around to know the reaction his brother’s words warranted. If he himself was disgusted by this elitist crap, he couldn’t even imagine how the adressed felt. The air was heavy, heavier than before, it was hard to breath.

“But I want to...” His voice cracked mid-sentence, making him stop.

“What?” Illumi raised an eyebrow in question.

“I want to make friends!” Killua said in one go, not daring to look at his brother.

“You don’t,” his brother’s voice grew colder, tone more threatening.

“I do!” Killua shouted, stomping with his foot, desperate to emphazise his point. “I have enough of this stuck-up nonsense! I want...” taking a deep breath he looked his brother in the eye, “...I want to become friends with Gon and play normally!”

“Really?” Illumi looked at him indifferently, but there was a hint of taunt in his voice. “Is this Gon even worthy of your friendship, or is he just some commoner? The latter, right?” He smirked at Killua, not hiding the mockery in his words as he went on. “Let me tell you something! This Gon is just some troublemaker, while you’re an elite, a Zoldyck. You’re better than him. You don’t really want to become friends with him, you’re just enjoying, that you’re superior to him, that’s all.”

Killua wanted to protest, to tell Illumi that this wasn’t true, but the ridiculousness of this statement left him speechless for a moment. There was no way, Illumi was right...! Sure, he often called Gon an idiot, but he never meant any harm by it, and, to be honest, his friend _was_ a big goofball. Still, that didn’t mean he thought he is superior to Gon, right?

“You’re thinking hard about this aren’t you?” Illumi’s mocking voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Your expression says, I’m correct.”

“That’s not true!” Killua yelled, his stomach twisting in panic. Some of his schoolmates left, but there were still plenty of students, who listened to this conversation. If it would reach Gon’s ears, that he only hangs out with him, because he thinks he is better... The white-haired boy didn’t even dare to imagine how Gon would react. “His status has nothing to do with it!”

“Then,” Illumi hummed, “if your Gon is so great, I’d like to have a few words with him. He should know, what it means to be a Zoldyck’s friend, don’t you think, Killu?”

Killua panicked for real. He couldn’t let Gon – kind, warm-hearted, accepting Gon – meet anyone from his arrogant family. It was enough that a lot of his schoolmates witnessed this, though they already disliked him for some reason, and he didn’t care about them either, but with Gon, it was different. Gon didn’t deserve to be treated like some filthy animal or an annoying bug, just because he wasn’t from a rich family. The situation was quite unlucky, because Gon didn’t left yet, he had cleaning duties the whole week. Killua didn’t know how many time passed, but Gon could finish soon, and if they stayed here any longer, a meeting with his brother would be inevitable. He gritted his teeth.

“Enough,” he whispered, not looking at Illumi while stepping closer to the car. It was really difficult to say his next words, but he had no choice. “You don’t have to meet him. It’s... fine. Let’s go home.” He couldn’t say _It’s not important_ in the end.

Soon he heard a clap of hands and then they patted his shoulders, like he was a “good boy”.

“I knew you would understand, Killu!” Illumi was extremely pleased with himself judging by his voice. Then he leaned in, a palm on Killua’s head pushing the younger one closer too. “I hope you learned your lesson, Killu. You don’t need anyone but us, and if you want friends, Father will introduce you to the right people,” he whispered so one else would hear. Then the hand disappeared from the white hair, but gave it a warning tug, so quick, one could mistake it for an accident.

“By the way, I was just joking; I would never want to talk to people like him,” he added, patting Killua’s shoulders one last time before getting into the car.

 

 

Killua laid on that small bed staring up to the ceiling. He remembered this room to be bigger, not this narrow, though it’s been years since the last time he was locked in. No one told him to come here this time, he did it on his own. He wasn’t sure why though, maybe it was to calm his parents. He didn’t feel guilty or sorry for getting involved with Gon and the others at all, but he had to behave for a while, lest his parents check him out of school. Not to mention it was better to lay around here and do nothing than getting a beating from Illumi. His brother didn’t even look at him while they sat in the car, but the white-haired boy could tell, he was restraining himself. Still, Killua was glad – just when the car turned to head to the mansion, he saw Gon. The black haired boy looked confused at the disbanding crowd searching with his eyes for the source of their attention and (luckily) not finding it.

Killua sighed, his eyes falling shut. Why did he think he could become friends with others, with Gon? He should have known, with a family like this he could only dream of it. The Zoldycks were one of the most influental families, their ancestors were all noble people of high ranks. It was to expect that they were a bunch of stuck-up snobs, but the level of arrogance his parents showed never failed to disgust him.

Even when he was a little child his mother made a huge scene, when he just looked at a passer-by as they took a walk in town. Having big blue eyes and white hair (which used to be even fluffier) really drew the attention to him, and he couldn’t help but smile and wave at the friendly looking ladies. But they were all average people, so whenever this happened, his mother shrieked and yanked him away, forbiding to interact with these people because they weren’t worthy. Seeing the disgusted reactions of the bystanders he really thought he did something bad, he couldn’t understand it that time. But he couldn’t understand what was wrong with those people either, they looked normal to him, and they smiled. Not like his family members. So he kept smiling back, what resulted in his mother never going for a walk with him in the town, he was only allowed to play around the mansion.

His life got really boring, even though he got plenty of toys he couldn’t play with anyone – Alluka and Kalluto were too small, Milluki never wanted to play with him and he was frightened by Illumi’s emotionless eyes. That was why he was so happy, when Silva started to introduce the “right people” to him – the children of business partners or other rich families. He honestly didn’t care who they were as long as he could play with them (while the adults were showing off in front of each other how good and important they were). The only problem was that Killua didn’t know how to play with others. He knew he had to be careful and gentle with Alluka and Kalluto (the butlers had told him confidentally), and he made sure to never hurt them. Otherwise it was natural for him to act mean and agressive, just like the way Milluki acted with him. Soon the visitors stopped bringing their children and Silva berated his, because Killua was supposed to be nice to them. The last straw was, when Killua pushed a potencial business partner’s son into a swimming pool – that was the first time he got locked into that room in the basement.

First, he thought they’re going to Alluka’s room, though considering that his father dragged him by his hair through the halls, it was very unlikely. He was thrown into a room with bleak white walls and dark floor, there was only one furniture inside: an uncomfortable bed. Nothing else. Silva left him there without any explanation, and the boy could scream, cry, until his voice got hoarse, push, bang on the door until his knuckles hurt, no one answered. He “only” spent a day there, but without his toys or anyone else around he was lonely and scared. By the time his visits to his “cell” became more frequent, the time he spent there increased too, and when he made ruckus, they sent Illumi to shut him up. It worked.

Forcing him into things against his will, being locked away when he showed disapproval and the occasional beatings from Illumi – all these were followed by the same sentences: “We only want the best for you! Why can’t you understand that?” and Killua hated it. Hated _them_. If it weren’t for Alluka, he would have gone mad – her presence was the only positive thing in his life, the only person he treasured. But he couldn’t spend enough time with her, private lessons or being punished kept him away from her, not to mention she was locked away as well. Killua really needed to be around others, to be around normal people, the kind of people his family forbid him to get involved with. This is why he wanted to go to a public school and not to the prestigious private school his parents wanted to send him. He knew, that place would be probably full with snobs too, and he had enough of them for a life time.

And it came to that fight. They argued about this school-issue again, for the thousendth time, and it got really bad. Kikyo pulling on his hair, hitting him with her other hand where she could, yanking him and shrieking; repeating the same lie about wanting the best for him, and it was too much. He felt something snapping inside of him, with pain and rage blinding him he grabbed the nearest sharp object – a shard of an expensive vase they broke in their struggling – and stabbed his mother along with Milluki who tried to intervene. He immediatelly came back to his senses, but instead of calling for help he grabbed his skateboard and ran away – he was really scared of what he did, but even more terrified of the consequences.

He ended up hiding at a park, didn’t dare to move from that place even as evening and then night came. He just sat there trembling from the cold, listening to his empty stomach’s grumbling, but those were inferior to the fear he felt. He was never so scared in his life, sitting in the darkness with nowhere to run from the things he had done, nowhere to run from himself... The hunger and cold chased him back to the mansion after two days, though at this rate he wasn’t even sure if they’ll let him in – whether that, or he’ll get locked in for the rest of his life. Yet none of those happened, everyone was so worried about him, that they even called the police for help. No beating, no punishment, quite on the contrary, his father sat with him down for the first time and listened to what he had to say, to what he wanted. Silva allowed him to attend the school his son wanted, but only under two conditions: he (still) wasn’t allowed to make friends with anyone, plus he had to get the best grades. Killua agreed, he had never problems with studying, besides his parents couldn’t be there to stop him from befriending others – he just had to make sure it stays a secret.

Easier said than done, Killua thought to himself sighing. He didn’t want to lose Gon, anyone else didn’t matter, but he found, he just couldn’t give up on Gon. He could only hope his “good” behaviour would convince his parents and Illumi, and he could enjoy life for a little longer. If he really had to take over the family business, this happiness wouldn’t last long.

Loud knocking interrupted his thoughts – Gotoh brought his dinner. The man left without a word, but that was normal, no one was allowed to talk to him right now – just like in the old times. Killua took the tray to the bed noticing only then, that the napkin wasn’t neatly folded, as if there was something inside of it. The white-haired boy carefully unfolded the napkin and smiled.

There was a small piece of chocolate hidden in there – just like in the old times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for updating so late! I have no excuse this time, I was simply a lazy bum... Besides I started to write another fic (instead of the chapter ahaha OOPS), what I'll post soon, but probably after I'm done with chapter 8 as well. 
> 
> By the way, I used the original lines in the "I want to become friends with Gon" scene. In the 2011 anime it's subbed as "I want to become friends with Gon and live a normal life", but he actually says "I want to play normally". And I think that's more heartbreaking if you consider, that Killua is just a 12 y.o. child, who's spent his childhood with learning how to kill, and his only wish is to have a friend he can play with... T.T  
> It was kind of difficult to write the part about his past, I hope it makes sense... 
> 
> Anyway, as always, thank you for reading, I'm so thankful for all the kind words this fic is recieving! ;u; (I promise, I won't be so lazy with chapter 8!!)


	8. Chapter 8

Killua was absent. Gon knew, he shouldn't make a big deal of it, but it's been four days now (weekend not included). It could have been just a cold, though there weren't any signs of it, however, considering the recent happenings it was very unlikely. And that made Gon worry. 

Also he heard what had happened. How could he not? The whole school was full with it: Killua Zoldyck's older brother came to scold him for being friends with Freaks, though Zoldyck is looking down on his oh so good friend anyway. Gon tried his best to put the story together, but it wasn't easy at all. Some of those who saw and heard the whole thing shaked Gon off right at the scene, they were in hurry after the "show" was over. Other were clearly offended by what they've witnessed (why did they even stay there and gawk if they disliked it that much, Gon had wondered, and asked once even - that person still doesn't even look his way when they see each other in the hallway) and only offered the boy remarks like: _Ask your dear friend, he'll tell you how much we commoners suck!_ or _I don't understand what you like about that arrogant loser_ and _In your place I would never ever talk to him._ These, and the different versions of the happenings (each of them wilder than Gon assumed the reality was) just confused the black haired boy. The only thing he knew was that Killua and his brother had an argument on the day after the incident with Kurapika and the Spiders, and maybe Killua's brother disapproved of his and Killua's friendship. 

In the end it was Pokkle, who told him the real story, and even though the other boy insisted on just waiting for someone and not wanting to eavesdrop, he could recall the happenings quite detailed. In any other situation Gon would have gotten mad, but now he didn't mind it at all, atleast he finally got to know what was going on between Killua and his brother.

His relief was short-lived as it was quickly replaced with anger. He never met Killua's family but from what he has heard, he knew they weren't pleasant people. Though his friend never really talked about them, and when he did, it was clear it's not a subject he likes to talk about.

Gon could remember the first time when their families came up. It was on a rainy day, shortly after they became friends. They sat in an empty hallway far from their schoolmates to avoid the weird looks, since others were still not used to see them together. The two just finished their lunches and stared out of the window, taking in the gray scenery, following the raindrops with their eyes as they rolled down the glass. It was a comfortable soft of silence, one they often shared. 

"Your family must be really nice..." Killua mumbled, his voice being half drowned out by the sound of the rain pattering on the window. He must have referred to their previous conversation.

"Huh?" Gon turned to look at his friend, not sure if he heard him right - there was something in Killua's tone he couldn't grasp. Was it melancholy?  _Sadness?_

"I said your family must be really nice. Are you even listening? The white-haired boy repeated, making a face in annoyance, but his voice sounded like usual, so maybe Gon was just hearing things.

"I heard you," Gon reassured his friend, sticking out his tounge to ease the mood. "It sounded like..." the way Killua's eyebrows furrowed made Gon stop mid-sentence and rethink what he wanted to say. "I mean... What is your family like? What are they doing?"

Killua looked back at the window, his eyes getting distant. Turning back to Gon he said in a low voice: "My family owns the Zoldyck Corporation," as if he said everything necessary for Gon to understand. Unfortunatelly he didn't. 

"Uhm, that sounds cool," Gon he nodded what only earned him a weird look from his friend, so he gave up on pretending to know what the other meant. "And what does that mean?"

Killua blinked dumbfounded before bursting into laughter, and Gon felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

"Well, sorry for not knowing..." he mumbled, expression settling to an irritated pout.

"Sorry, sorry..." Killua wheezed, wiping his eyes. "Can't blame you for that, you're not from around here. It means that my family owns a big company."

"So your family must be rich," Gon guessed.

"Pretty much," Killua nodded to which the black haired boy just hummed.

A short pause, then Killua let out a bitter huff.

"It's not so great like everyone thinks though."

"Why not?" Gon blinked in surprise at the sudden change of his friend's mood.

"Because," Killua's eyes were fixated on the window again, his lips stretching to a humourless smile, " people only find me interesting, because they want my money. And as soon as they realize that they won't get anything, they leave." He propped his elbow on the window sill, his chin resting in his palm. The smile disappeared from his face as he went on. "And my parents have high expectations of me. They want me to take over the company one day." His voice was a quite murmur, mouth twitching. Gon had to listen closely, so he wouldn't miss a word. "But I don't want to. Who wants to have their life planned out for them?" He let out a small angry huff.

There was silence for a while, only the pattering of the rain could be heard. Killua looked like he was deep in thought, but - judging by his expression - they weren't too pleasant. Before Gon could say anything, his friend turned away from the window, shaking his head (getting rid of uneccessary thoughts?) and let out a breathy laugh.

"Not that I could do anything against it," he shrugged and changed the subject.

And whenever this topic came up, their conversations went similarly: Killua talking a few words about his family (looking straight ahead and never at Gon) and before he would go into detail, he shrugs it off with a faked smile and starts talking about something else. All Gon could get to know about his friends family, that he had lots of siblings and his parents were strict. After seeing that lingering sadness in his friends profile, Gon never pressed on it lest he upsets his friend.

 

It made him mad. Especially after hearing about Illumi's visit, it made him so mad. Even though he barely knew anything about Killua's past, he could guess, that lots of bad things must have happened to the other, things the boy surely didn't deserve. Why else did he get so scared when the chairman said he would call everyone's parents'? If the Killua, who was late almost everyday, the Killua, who openly slept in class and talked back to the teachers got almost a panic attack because his parents would hear about an incident in which he wasn't even at fault, then things were clearly not right at his home.

That aside, Gon was mad at himself too. The last time he saw Killua - the day when Illumi came to their school - his friend was strangely quiet. He just stared with an unreadable expression at Gon while the black haired boy babbled about whatever came to his mind, only rolling his eyes and calling the other an idiot, when the boy said something very silly. Gon knew he shouldn't pry, Killua wouldn't answer anyway (just like the previous day). All he could do was to act silly in the hope he could cheer up or atleast distract the white-haired boy.

But the most frustrating in this situation was, that he couldn't be there when Illumi confronted Killua, he couldn't be there when his friend needed him, especially because (even though Gon haven't done anything bad) he was the source of the trouble. Considering how Killua was always there, when he got into trouble, dragging him away from meaningless fights; yet he couldn't do anything in return. 

 

It's been too many days, Gon was restless. He was honestly worried about Killua, he needed to know if his friend was okay. Even Mito noticed his distress and suggested to call Killua after listening to Gon's brief explanation of the situation. Gon felt a bit dumb for not thinking of this as an option - they had exchanged numbers long ago, but it didn't even occur to him, because they met everyday, there was no need to call each other.

Rushing to his room he searched for his phone and found it under his desk. It just showed that he didn't use the device at all, he didn't even wanted one, but Mito insisted on buying him one after he got enrolled to school. Hastily he opened the contacts. There were only two numbers: Mito's and Killua's, Gon dialed the latter and waited nervously for the other to pick up. 

"Killua!!!" He nearly screamed into the reciever when he heard the soft click from the other end of the line. 

A short pause, and then: _"Who are you?"_ It wasn't Killua who answered the call. 

It was a cold voice, tone menacing.

Gon took the phone away from his ears for a moment to check if he called the wrong number, but it seemed correct, so he brought it back to his ear. 

"Who are you?" He asked back. "Why isn't Killua answering the phone?"

 _"I'm affraid none of those are of your business,"_ the other answered, voice getting colder. _"Answer me. Who are you and why are you calling Killua?"_

Gon felt like he is going to burst from anger. That arrogant guy really made it sound like he had the right to be concerned about Killua, when they were the ones who were mean to their own family member. Gon took a deap breath.

"MY NAME IS GON FREECSS, I'M KILLUA'S FRIEND SO PUT HIM ON THE PHONE!!!"

Silence.

 _"So you are_ that _Gon Killua was talking about,_ " the voice said and there was something in his tone, what resembled strongly to disgust. " _Get away from him. You are only a nuisance to him, he doesn't need people like you."_

"I'm not!" Gon shot back angrily. "And I'm his friend, whether you like it or not! You have no right to tell Killua who to befriend! Apologize to him!"

" _And you think_ you _can tell me what to do? You are really nothing but trouble. Leave Killua alone! This was my last warning._ " Gon heard the soft click again, signaling the end of the call this time.

He stared at his phone for a good while. He was worried before too, but now he didn't even think "worry" would cover what he felt. Things were far more serious, than he thought. He was sure Killua didn't come to school, because his parents didn't allow him it, and this conversation with Illumi (Gon assumed it was him) just prove it. 

Gon now needed to see with his own eyes if Killua's okay, if his family didn't do anything to him. More importantly, he wanted Killua to be safe from them, he himself would bring his friend out of there if he could. He knew this wasn't possible considering that Killua wasn't even allowed to talk to him. He didn't even know the Zoldycks' address. He couldn't ask anyone for it, as far as Gon knew he was Killua's only friend, maybe Kurapika and the others too, but they werent so close. Gon's mind pulled a halt here. Did that mean he and Killua were close? According to Pokkle the white-haired boy did say that he wanted to be friends with him... Gon mused about it for a while, the thought making him surprisingly happy and excited. He then shook his head. If they really were close friends, he needed to do something and not just sitting around and thinking about unimportant things. Well, they weren't unimportant, Gon corrected himself, but there were more significant things which also involved Killua and he needed to focus on these. He let himself fall back on the bed with a sof thump. Who could he ask for Killua's adress?

Soft knocking interrupted his thoughts, Mito bringing him snacks then leaving. Gon got up from his bed and dragged himself to the desk to grab something to munch and in that moment it hit him. He finally knew who to ask for help.

 

The next day Killua was still absent, what just proved, that Gon had to do this. Still, he knocked quite hesitantly on the staff room's door.

"Oh, it's Gon! What brings you here?" It was Senritsu, who opened the door.

Gon took a deep breath, eyes determined. "Can I talk to Miss Krueger, please?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I don't even know how to apologize for being this late with the update. I'm so sorry! ;_; *bows down in apology* I try to keep my updates more frequent from now on, tho I don't know if I can, bc I'll get hired soon, so I might be able to write only on weekends. But I don't want to make anyone wait!  
> I'm sorry if this chapter isn't so good, my muse completelly left me to deal with this alone, orz.
> 
> Once again, I'm sorry for the long wait! I try to update the College/Child actor AU as well, I hope it wont take so long!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading this fic, I appreciate everyone's support!
> 
> Btw, can you guess who Pokkle was waiting for? *wink wink*


	9. Chapter 9

Gon sat on a chair across from Biscuit. The young looking woman was Killua’s homeroom teacher, the person he needed to talk to the most. Still, now that he was here he didn’t know how to start or what to say. Was it really a good idea to involve a teacher in this? Glancing at Biscuit’s questioning eyes he remembered her words from earlier: _What you did wasn’t helping the situation at all! If you came for help, we could have stepped in sooner!_ This situation wasn’t similar to Kurapika’s though; Gon had a feeling it could cause trouble for Killua if he asked for help.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Biscuit asked, probably tired of waiting for Gon to speak up.

“Well,” Gon glanced to the side and fidgeted in his chair; he couldn’t help but feel nervous, even though he knew he had no other choice, “it’s about Killua.”

She raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised by the topic, but remained quiet, nodding her head to urge him to go on. Gon took a deep breath, feeling less nervous.

“I’m worried about him. He’s been absent for so many days now. I don’t think he is sick, but I don’t think he skips classes either…” he trailed off, not sure how to continue. He wasn’t sure if Biscuit would believe him.

“What do you think the reason is?” She looked at him with a serious expression.

“I think… he got into trouble because of that fight with the Spiders. At home I mean. And maybe because of me too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wasn’t there that time, but I heard that Killua’s brother came to school and scolded him for being friends with me. They don’t like it, that Killua is friends with someone who isn’t from a rich family.” Just thinking about that made Gon clench his fists on his knees.

“I heard something about that too,” Biscuit nodded giving a small smile seeing Gon’s surprised expression. “We, teacher, hear about the rumours that circle around the school too. Being as young as me has many advantages you know!” She winked, but her expression turned serious again. “Tell me about it, I would like to know what happened!”

Biscuit’s features turned more and more clouded after Gon told her everything; her eyebrows knitting together, concern clear in her eyes. She remained silent for a while, contemplating what she heard before turning her attention back to Gon, assessing him for a long time. Gon returned her gaze with his usual earnest expression despite feeling a dull anxiety rising inside him. He was glad his teacher took him seriously, but her reaction scared him as well; she might have known more for she was Killua’s homeroom teacher.

“So, Gon,” she started after a few minutes, “are you two good friends?” It wasn’t a question he anticipated.

“Yes!” He exclaimed, relief mixing into his excitement. “Killua is my best friend in the world!” He declared with a huge grin, his chest swelling with pride and joy, because it was the truth. Killua himself said so, standing up against his brother, declaring that he wanted to be friends with Gon.

Biscuit blinked in surprise at his sudden outburst but her perplexed expression was soon replaced a soft smile, she looked at Gon with the same endearment Mito did so many times. It was the first time he saw such a loving expression on his teacher’s face and it wasn’t only her; other teachers looked at him in a similar way having heard Gon’s loud declaration. Gon scratched the back of his neck smiling sheepishly; he forgot they weren’t alone in the room.

“I see,” Biscuit hummed. “Killua tells you a lot of things then, doesn’t he?”

Gon frowned, he wanted to say yes, but actually he knew very few things about Killua, despite being friends for a good while now. The things Gon knew about his friend where all things he found out on his own: how moody Killua becomes when he doesn’t get enough sleep or can’t eat his daily dose of sweets, or how he likes to pretend he doesn’t care about things, but he cares a lot, or how he tries to act cool when he is embarrassed (but fails at it badly). The white-haired boy rambled a lot about the video games he loved, or the random things he saw on the internet, but he rarely talked about himself. He only talked a little about his family, how strict his parents are and that he isn’t so close with his siblings except for his sister.

And then there were times when Killua came to school with dark circles under his eyes, being silent almost the whole day, just watching the others around him with contemplating eyes. He never gave an honest answer when Gon or Kurapika asked him what was wrong, only dismissing their worry with a simple “I’m just tired” or making up excuses like he stayed up late gaming. Gon assumed that wasn’t the case for when he really stayed up playing games he would ramble the next day about it, how hard it was to beat that boss, or that he can’t find the right path to advance. But he never said a word about the games; he just sat there in silence, his expression distant, standoffish. It wasn’t just Gon, who noticed his odd behavior, he saw Kurapika, Pairo and sometimes even Shoot sneaking worried glances at the white-haired boy.

“Well,” Gon said after a long pause, “he doesn’t talk much about himself. He only told me, that his parents are very strict. And sometimes he acts strange.”

“Strange?” Biscuit repeated, her eye brows knitting together with concern once again.

“Yes. He is silent all the time and he won’t tell us, what’s wrong. Not even me!” Gon complained, because it really bothered him. He wanted to help Killua after all. “And now he isn’t coming to school since that fight with the Spiders!”

“Do you think it has something to do with his family?” Biscuit posed the question with a serious expression.

“Yes!” Maybe it wasn’t nice to accuse someone’s parents with such bad things, but Gon was 100% sure he was right. “Yesterday I tried to call Killua, but his brother answered the call, and he threatened me to leave Killua alone. They don’t want Killua to come to school because they don’t want him to be around me. They think I’m a bad influence to him.”

Biscuit’s lips pressed into a hard line, her expression troubled. “What can we do?” She murmured probably to herself.

“I want to go to Killua’s place!” Gon exclaimed, his voice desperate. “I want to go there and see if he is alright! Could you give me his address please?”

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Biscuit looked at him sternly. “You said it yourself, Killua’s parents are not happy about your friendship. It is possible, that you would only cause trouble if you showed up there.”

“But I can’t stand just sitting here and doing nothing!” Gon balled his hands into tight fists on his knees. “Killua was always there for me when I needed help; he stopped me so many times from getting in trouble. When he needed help I couldn’t be there for him and even now I can’t do anything. What kind of best friend does this make me? If I’m not going to help him now, I won’t be able to forgive myself!” He looked with determined eyes at Biscuit. She kept her stern expression, though there was a hint hesitation in her eyes for a moment, and Gon didn’t miss it. “I’m worried about Killua. I really want to see him,” he added pleading, hoping this would persuade his teacher.

As expected, Biscuit’s expression dropped as she leant back in her chair with a heavy sigh. “Alright, alright,” she said resignedly then shooting a piercing glare towards the boy in front of him. “I am still against it, but if you insist… I too think that there is something wrong going on in that family, but we can not just jump in without having any proofs, so it might be better if you go first. You shouldn’t just pop up there without any reason… bring him the homework! That could actually leave a good impression,” Biscuit nodded to herself and walked over to her colleagues to collect the homeworks that have piled up in these four days.

She was back by his side soon, stacking the sheet of paper and scribbling something on a smaller piece – probably Killua’s address. She glanced at Gon with a stern look before handing him the stack.

“I know you have good manners, but be careful when you are talking to Killua’s parents! It is rude to say this, but they are really difficult people. Who knows how they will react, when you show up there,” she still didn’t give him the papers. “Tell me how it went! If I am not here you can tell Senritsu too.”

“Miss Senritsu?” Gon repeated with a puzzled expression, glancing at the aforementioned teacher.

“Yes, Miss Senritsu,” Biscuit nodded, the movement of her head making her blonde ponytail bounce. “We are not just teaching, we are responsible for child and youth care in this school,” Gon saw Senritsu nodding from the corner of his eyes. “So, tell me by all means how your visit went, because we want to know if there is something going on in Killua’s family what needs our intervention.”

After one last stern look she finally handed him the homework with Killua’s address on top of it. Gon bowed down in gratitude and was out of the staff room a few seconds later.

 

 

Even though he was determinded on his way to Killua’s home, Gon felt quite intimidated when he finally arrived to the Zoldyck estate. It took him long to get there in the first place – the house (Gon wasn’t even sure if that word fit the building) being in the outskirts of the city. The bus didn’t take him far; he had to walk a lot to get to his destination, calling Aunt Mito meanwhile to tell her about his late arrival at home today.

A prestigious wrought-iron gate and fence stretched in front of Gon, behind them a modest grove probably there to protect the house from curious eyes. There was a small booth at the gate, a slightly aged security guard sitting inside. Though Gon couldn’t see the actual building too well, just looking at the fence and the well-tended trees behind it made it clear that this place was the home of incredibly rich people. Everything – even the atmosphere – screamed of wealth, uneasiness settled in Gon’s stomach as he approached the booth of the security guard.

“Good afternoon!” Gon greeted the man, feeling a single drop of sweat rolling down his temple.

“Good afternoon! May I help you?” The guard’s voice was calm, friendly, Gon felt the tension slowly leaving his shoulders.

“My name is Gon Freecss, and I’m Killua’s friend. I brought him his homework. Can I give it to him?” Gon felt his heartbeat quicken, but he took a deep breath to calm himself. He wasn’t allowed to mess this up.

“Young master Killua’s friend?” The guard’s features lit up with happiness when Gon nodded affirmative. “Please wait a minute; I am going to notify the Madam of your arrival. My name is Zebro by the way; I’m the Zoldyck family’s security guard.”

Gon nodded again, clutching at the straps of his backpack. Zebro dialled and held the receiver to his ears, waiting a few seconds before someone picked up on the other end of the line.

“Mr. Gotoh? It’s Zebro. Young Master Killua’s friend is here. Yes. He brought him his homework. Yes. What? But the boy said he is… oh. Please wait a minute!” Zebro took the receiver away from his ear and looked at Gon with an apologetic expression. “What was your name again?”

“Gon Freecss,” he answered readily, feeling the nervousness return as Zebro repeated his name into the receiver.

“But Mr. Gotoh, what do you mean by that? The boy introduced himself as Gon Freecss and said he is a friend of the Young Master. What do you mean that can’t be…? Ah, Madam Zoldyck!” Zebro’s voice jumped an octave higher, his temple damp with perspiration. “Y-Yes. This boy, Young Master Killua’s friend is here. His name? Gon Freecss, Madam. Wh-what? But he…” A high pitched voice screamed at Zebro from the other end of the line, it was so loud even Gon could hear it. The guard listened quitly, bowing frequently his head in apology even though the other couldn’t see it. “Ah, yes. Yes. I am truly sorry Madam Zoldyck. I will do as you wish. Yes. Of course Madam. I understand. I definitely will do so. Yes. Please excuse me.”

The silence that followed after Zebro ended the call hurt Gon’s ears. Judging by the dialogue between Zebro and Killua’s mother, the Zoldycks weren’t pleased with Gon’s presence.

“I am very sorry, but I cannot allow you to see the Young Master,” Zebro said in an official tone.

“But why?” Gon couldn’t accept the rejection, despite it being foreseeable. “I just wanted to give him his homework, nothing bad!”

“I am very sorry,” Zebro repeated, but this time in an apologetic tone. “I cannot oppose Madam Zoldyck’s orders. In fact I’m already doing it – I shouldn’t even allow you get close to the estate at all. Please go home! I do not want to use force.”

Gon just stared at the ground with clenched fists, his frustration turning his vision red. It was useless to try to get in here; Zebro wouldn’t open the gates for him. His legs moved on his own, walking him away from the booth, but not from the estate – he wasn’t going to give up so easily. What was the point in coming here if he couldn’t see Killua?

He glanced behind him, checking if he could see the security guard’s booth. Comfirmig he wasn’t in Zebro’s field of vision anymore he looked around more carefully, assessing his surroundings, looking for a way to get to the other side of the fence. He eyed said ornate fence now, finding he could scale it without big difficulty. Gon readjusted his backpack, rolled up his sleeves and immediatelly started climbing. It was indeed a surprisingly easy task, but maybe it was just him being good at scaling, climbing up things. Soon he landed with a thump on the soft grass on the other side. It was only then when he realized how sweaty his palms were and how labored his breathing was, his heart thrumming loudly in his ears and even his knees shook. He let out a shaky laugh before taking two deep breaths, he had to move forward or else he could get found out – he didn’t know if there were other security guards at the estate.

It came all too suddenly – just as he was about to go further into the grove something cold hit him square in the face, the impact making him fly backwards against the fence. He fell headfirst into the grass, groaning in pain, his head spinning and his cheek already becoming swollen. His mind paniced, he didn’t hear nor see anyone approaching, but now there was someone standing in front of him, he could feel their presence. As he tried to lift his face as slowly as he could the same cold thing grazed his left ear. Glancing to the side all he could make out was a round thing, letting his eyes wander in front of him he could see a young woman in a tailcoat standing there pointing a cane at him. The round thing was probably a knob attached to it.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” She posed the question in calm manner.

Gon opened his mouth to say something but only a groan came out; his swollen cheek throbbed in pain as he tried to speak.

“Weren’t you told to not come near this place?” The woman asked her next question.

“But I…” Gon tried again, “…I want to see Killua! I know… his parents aren’t treating him well… they’re not even letting him come to school!”

“How Young Master Killua gets treated by his parents has nothing to do with you. Now get out!”

“It has!” Gon exclaimed even though it hurt so much that his eyes watered. “It has, because Killua is my best friend! I want to help him!”

The woman looked at him with an indifferent expression before lifting the cane up and away from his face.

“This is how you wanted to help the Young Master? Tresspassing right after being told to leave?” Both her tone and expression turned stern. “You’re only causing him more trouble. You aren’t helping him at all. If you really want to do that, get out of here and don’t show up ever again!” When Gon didn’t budge, she pointed the cane at him again. “Do as I say or I will call the guard dog! He isn’t as nice as I am.”

It wasn’t as easy to climb over the fence now as it was before; his back hurt too, seeing how he fell against the hard iron when he got hit in the face. When he was outside the woman was nowhere to be seen, she disappeared as silently as she came.

Gon gritted his teeth – this sentence was all too familiar, and he remembered what Biscuit told him before: _Be careful when you are talking to Killua’s parents!_ She warned him not to do anything reckless that would cause even more problems, yet here he was, letting his anger take control over his mind and doing the stupidest thing possible. That woman was right and he was so ashamed of himself. He didn’t know how he’ll face everyone – Aunt Mito, Biscuit, Senritsu, but more importantly Killua.

This was possibly his longest journey back home, and it wasn’t because of the pain he felt in his cheek and back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Throws herself to the ground* I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG AGAIN!!!! Q_Q Actually I'm working full time since July and it takes so much more of my free time, than I imagined it would. On weekdays I can't function outside of work and weekends are over in a blink of an eye... WHAT IS LIFE ORZ
> 
> I hope the update is OK, it's been too long since I wrote something and Gon is hard to portray, hnnnngh.  
> I wasn't sure for a long time how to write this chapter, I had more versions in my head, and in the end I didn't use any of them haha XD Or well, just a part of it. ~~WHAT IS PLOT EVEN I DON'T KNOW~~
> 
> Please excuse my stupid rambling, it's 1 in the morning and I've been working the whole week. Now I'm just going to post this and collapse into bed, HELL YEAH
> 
> Also, please don't expect frequent updates, unless you want a rushed, messy chapter. I'm not planning to abandon any of my fics, but I'm still getting used to working and it's very tiring. I try to update regularly, but I can't guarantee anything. I hope you understand.  
> I appreciate all the comments and kudos, it means A LOT to me. Have a big internet-hug from me! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading (and bearing with me)!


	10. Chapter 10

“Get up!”

Killua blinked with bleary eyes, the white light stinging them. He sat up in bed feeling a bit confused, he didn’t remember falling asleep, though there wasn’t anything else he could do in that small room. His father stood in the doorway, regarding him with more judgement than usual. This confused him as well; he didn’t do anything to warrant this reaction, atleast not in the past days, he spent all his time in his punishment room after all. It was possible his parents were still angry at him because of the incident at school, but he came here on his own hoping he could make up for it like that.

“Come with me,” Silva instructed him and he obliged, following his father through the dark corridors of the basement up into the study.

He wasn’t too surprised to see his mother there as well but her presence certainly didn’t make him calmer.

“Sit down!” Was his father’s next instruction and he did as he was told, taking a seat on the chair in front of Silva’s desk while the head of the family sat down on the other side .

The atmostphere was too formal; Killua had no idea what was going to happen. If they wanted to scold or punish him, they would have done it already, without coming all the way up to the study and sit down to talk. The situation was quite unnerving but he didn’t let it show, keeping eye contact with his father, his pokerface on.

“Say, Killua,” his father clasped his hands on the desk, “are we treating you badly?”

“Uhm…” was all Killua could manage for he didn’t expect this question at all. _Well, no, saying you treat me like shit would be closer to the truth to be honest_ wasn’t an aswer his parents would be pleased with, so he remained quiet.

“I admit, we are stricter with you sometimes,” Silva went on and Killua was grateful that he learned to keep a neutral expression while talking to his parents, “but you leave us no other choice, seeing how you tend to stray from the right path.”

_So now I’m the one to blame, huh?_

“We aren’t doing it because we like it; you should know that, Killu!” Kikyo added. “It’s for your sake!”

“Yeah, sure!” Killua snorted, unable to control himself. “It’s totally normal to beat up your kid just for his sake, I get it!”

“Watch your mouth!” Silva raised his voice, fists slamming on the table. “This is exactly what we were talking about! If you would show respect towards us and do as we say, we wouldn’t have to do this either! Why can’t you be obedient and well-mannered, like your brother?”

“Because I don’t want to do that!” Killua raised his voice as well, though it probably wasn’t the best decision. Still, he hated being compared to others. “I don’t care about the company and heritage and whatsoever! If my brother is so much better than me, why do I have to inherit the business? He would be a better candidate to be honest.”

“That’s not for you to decide! Also, I would be glad if you wouldn’t tell your teachers, that we are treating you badly, because it’s not true and it harms our reputation.”

“What?” Killua just blinked at his parents, this follow up didn’t make any sense to him. “What do you mean by that?”

“This is hardly the time to play games, Killua,” Silva shot a warning look at him.

“I’m not playing; I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” He shook his head, keeping eye contact with the older Zoldyck.

“Your homeroom teacher came by earlier this afternoon because you were absent in the past days and she suspected that we are keeping you from attending classes and don’t treat you the way we should.”

“She did?” Killua blinked again, confusion mixing into his surprise.

“Indeed, she did,” Killua could hear from Silva’s tone that his father wans’t too happy about that. “So, are you still saying you don’t know what I am talking about?”

“I am. I’m never talking about personal things, besides I shouldn’t even talk to anyone there you know…”

“Not that you are too eager to keep that promise,” Silva pointed out, and Killua choose to remain silent, he wasn’t sure his father would find his remark funny. “But if it wasn’t you, where did she get that idea from?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t say a word, that’s for sure,” Killua said looking straight into his father’s eye. They held a short staring contest, Silva then let out a small sigh.

“From tomorrow on you are going to school again,” the older Zoldyck said, “and make sure to tell your teacher that we are not treating you poorly, so there is no need to come here nor for her nor for Mr. Netero.”

The way Silva said Netero’s name made Killua raise an eyebrow.  “You know the chairman?”

“He and your grandfather are old acquaintances,” his father gave a short nod.

He had to stop himself from letting out a low whistle. The chairman seemed to be overly bored sitting around in his office, an ordinary old man, but if he knew his grandfather, that meant he was an important person – the Zoldycks were always picky with choosing their acquaintances. It would probably harm the family’s reputation a lot if the chairman would find out about the Zoldycks child raising methods (like locking them away as punishment or give them a good beating and so on).

“You are dismissed. Go to your room, I will send there Gotoh with your dinner,” his father waved his hand, practically shooing him out of the room.

He didn’t have to be told twice, Killua left the study, heading to his room with quick steps. He expected it to be messy and dirty, he wasn’t there for almost a week after all, but it was neatly cleaned, his bed made, waiting for him to slump headfirst into the freshly changed sheets. After spending his nights on that uncomfortable bed he gladly inhaled the lingering scent of the fabric softener, cuddling the blanket, enjoying the fact that he is finally lying in his own bed. Whoever cleaned his room and changed the sheets had to be praised for it, he mentally took a note to give a Chocorobo as offering for the gods later.

After finishing his dinner (finally he could eat as much as he wanted) he got his laptop and nestled himself in bed. He just had to check his blog before going to sleep, he wasn’t online for too many days after all, he was dying to scroll through his dashboard and watching cat videos. But as much as he wanted to spend more time on the internet he couldn’t do so, being sated in a comfy bed made his eyelids droop and he could barely keep himself awake. Turning it off he put his laptop to the side, switching off the lights on the nightstand and making himself comfortable for the night.

Tomorrow he finally could leave the house – going to school never sounded so appealing. Besides…

Tomorrow he could finally see Gon.

With that in mind he fell asleep.

 

 

Gliding through the morning crowd and watching as people jump out of his way and swing their fists at him was really entertaining, Killua found. It’s been a while since the last time he came to school on his skateboard, he almost forgot how nice it felt when the wind ruffled his hair. Doing a few tricks he noticed elementary school kids gaping and pointing at him while their moms shot disapproving glares towards him, he smirked and passed them getting extra close just to make them shriek.

The temperature was a bit cooler than when he came to school last time, the cold air stinging his cheeks, but he didn’t mind. Nothing bothered him this morning, everything was better than being locked away.

He truly believed so until he reached school. Lot of students crowded around the gate, waiting for their friends, chatting, not wanting to go inside yet. A lot of them looked up at the sound of his skateboard approaching, a lot of small daggers have been shot at him after they saw who it was. He shrugged it off; it wasn’t something he wasn’t used to so he just passed the crowd and flipped his skateboard upwards, snatching it mid air and bringing it to his side in one swift move. He didn’t care about the others, but knowing that Gon had class in the other end of the building bothered him more than he dared to admit – it meant he’ll be alone for a while and that wasn’t cool at all.

 

 

“Killua, wait a minute please!”

Biscuit called out to him as he was about to leave class. The addressed stopped at the door, turning around and reluctantly strolling back into the room with growing uneasiness in his stomach since his teacher wore a serious expression. She waited till the last student left the room, closed the door and looked Killua straight in the eyes.

“Maybe you know that I visited your house yesterday,” she started while studying Killua’s face with searching eyes. When her student didn’t respond, she went on, “I asked your parents where you are, since you were absent for a long time and I don’t remember getting called by them that you are sick.” Her words were met with silence once again, Killua staring back at her with a blank face. “They told me that you wanted to take a small break and they granted you this wish.”

Killua wished Biscuit wouldn’t stare at him so directly, so he can pinch himself to stiffle the treacherous snort that was about to escape him. His parents sure had a different view of the world around them…

“They said you were in your room. Is that true?” Biscuit continued with the interrogation.

The one-sided conversation went into a dangerous direction, but Killua tried to keep his neutral expression. Not trusting his voice he just nodded.

“What were you doing?”

_Oh nothing, just chillin’ in my personal punishment room and enjoying the boredom and lack of anything I like, no big deal!_

“Nothing in particular,” Killua shrugged, ignoring his internal voice. “Can I go now? It’s lunchbreak, and I’m hungry,” he knew he wasn’t too polite, but he was eager to get out of the classroom and his teacher’s sight.

Biscuit watched him in silence for a few moments, then let out a long sigh. “You are dismissed,” she said in a resigned tone. “But Killua,” she called out one last time, the seriousness from before completely gone from her features and voice, “I see it’s hard for you to talk about it, but if you have problems at home you can come and talk to me about them anytime. I’m sure we can find a solution together!”

Killua was taken aback though he tried to hide it. They held eye contact for a short while, but he found this was worse than her stern expression. Looking into her caring eyes made it more difficult to keep silent about the matter and he really didn’t want anyone to know about his relationship with his family.

“I’m fine, but thanks!” He turned around and darted out of the room, before she could mess with his head more.

He was upset. How did she know? Normally, if a student was absent the teachers didn’t care about it, or maybe they called the parents and that was it. But she came to visit his house and – concluding from what his parents told him the other day – she questioned them with the suspition that they don’t treat him well. There wasn’t too much beating since he started school because he tried his best to behave, he was sure his father wouldn’t hesitate to take him out of school if he did something that wasn’t for their liking. And even if there was something, he never let it show, and the fact that he didn’t have friends came in handy at times like this, he didn’t have to make up excuses for avoiding others. Now it was more difficult with observant people like Gon and Kurapika around him, but he kept his pokerface. He saw them watching him with the same worry in their eyes as in Biscuit’s, but they never questioned him. He thought he was safe, but maybe he was wrong all along – maybe they knew? But how did they catch on?

“KILLUAAAAAA!!!!!” A loud cry of his name snapped him out of his fretting, and before he could do anything he was glomped with a heavy force from behind, the impact almost making them topple over.

“Slow down idiot, we’re going to fall!” Killua growled, softly elbowing what appeared to be Gon.

“I can’t help it!” Gon’s whine was muffled by Killua’s back. “I missed you so much that I couldn’t hold back!”

“Will you stop being so embarrassing?” Killua screeched, shaking his friend off and pulling away from him with flaming cheeks. He almost forgot how blunt Gon was. Almost. “Do you even…” The words froze in his throat as he turned around to face the other, a cold silence settling between them.

“What the hell happened to you?” Killua muttered, dread filling his stomach once again. Gon’s right cheek was one big blue bruise, swollen and – judging from its vivid colour – fresh.

Gon’s face writhed but it seemed like it wasn’t becausen of the pain, it looked like Gon was… ashamed. When their eyes met he could see the regret in the other’s features, and it was really unnerving him. What could have happened while he wasn’t here to stop his reckless idiot of a friend?

“Well…” Gon squirmed, gaze flickering to the side. He was clearly uncomfortable.

Killua glanced around as well, noticing several students staring at Gon’s swollen cheek, making it difficult to have a private conversation, so he grabbed the shorter teen’s arm and dragged him away. They stopped at a deserted floor, Killua letting go of Gon and turning to face him.

“Tell me!” He ordered.

Gon swallowed hard, the moiton making his face twist in pain again. “Yeah, I have to tell you… but I guess you know it already…”

“What? Know what?” Killua started worrying more and more. “You think I’d ask, if I’d know, dumbass?”

“You don’t know?” Gon’s eyes widened in bewilderment. “I thought they already told you about it…”

“Who? What are you talking about?” Killua was completely confused by now.

“Your parents. That I went to your house the day before yesterday,” Gon looked him in the eyes for the first time since they met.

Killua froze. “You did _what_? How did you even get my address?”

“From Miss Krueger. She gave it to me and I headed there right after school, but Mr. Zebro didn’t let me in. I really wanted to know that you’re okay so I scaled the fence but there a guard hit me with her cane in the face and chased me away.”

Killua felt his knees buckling, he staggered backwards, leaning against the wall to keep himself upright. Sweeping his bangs form his eyes he looked at Gon – his black haired friend stood at the same spot looking still ashamed of himself. After the cold fear he felt hot anger boiling inside of him, because seriously, this grade of idiocy was too much, even for Gon.

“What the hell were you thinking, you reckless idiot?!” He shouted the end of his question. Gon winced but didn’t say a word, bearing the harsh words he probably thought he deserved. “Do you know how lucky you were, that Canary found you and not Mike? Mike would have torn you into shreds!” Killua let out a shaky exhale, memories of the unlucky robber their guard dog found sooner than Canary filling his mind. “Why did you do this?”

“I was worried!” Gon cried out. “You said yourself that you’ll get into trouble for the thing with Kurapika, didn’t you? Besides I know that you got into a fight with your brother because of me! And then… and then you didn’t come to school for so many days! When I tried to call you, your brother answered the phone instead of you!”

“You talked to Illumi?” Killua blurted out, his knees finally giving out. He slid down the wall to fall on his butt, cold sweat rolling down his temple.

“See! This is exactly why I was worried!” Gon pointed at him probably meaning the fear that made Killua go numb. The black haired boy kneeled down in front of him, his eyes soft. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when your brother was here. You’re always supporting me and I wanted to do the same for you, but all I did was making everything worse…” Gon let out a small breath, shaking his head like he himself couldn’t believe how stupid he acted. “That guard, Canary said the same.”

Killua just sat on the floor, looking past Gon. Now it all made sense – it was Gon who made Biscuit aware of his situation and seeing how Gon ended up after his visit, she went there to check up on the Zoldycks as well.

“Killua please!” Gon pleaded, leaning closer and grabbing his arms. “I know you have problems, but you’re keeping them all to yourself! I want to help you, so please tell me!” To emphasise his words, he slightly shook Killua’s arms.

Killua looked into Gon’s eyes. They were too intense for him even when he was calm and collected, but now, when he barely recovered from the shock of knowing Gon and Illumi interacted he couldn’t handle them. He let is head fall back as he let out a long exhale. He didn’t have any choice right? Gon knew already, right? Besides he already got Gon involved into this, so he owed him an explanation.

Looking back at Gon he swallowed hard – the thought of revieling all the abuse he received in the past made his throat go dry.

“Okay,” he whispered. “But promise me not to do or say anything when I’m done. And don’t tell anyone!”

“But Killua, you might need an adults help!”

“Gon please!” Killua’s voice cracked and it made Gon stop immediately.

“Okay,” the black haired boy nodded. “I promise I won’t do anything! So please, tell me!”

Killua nodded as well. Looking past Gon again, he started talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm sorry for the long wait, everyone! I had the first half of the fic in my drafts since the end of August, but you know, work...  
> BUT!!!! I have vacation next week so I might be able to update another chapter! Yay!
> 
> Killua is back! And he will tell Gon about his family? Wow! (Somehow my Killua chapters are always longer than the Gon chapters - I'm not biased you know? Not at all. Uhm... shit)  
> Also some of you suspected that Gon showing up at the Zoldyck estate would cause a huge mess, and it was tempting to write, but I didn't want to make too much drama. There will be enough of that later on anyway (if I ever get to the point to write it of course, ahaha oops)  
> (I'm sorry, I'm tired and talking stupid things orz)
> 
> Guess who has birthday today (10.18)? It's meeeeee! 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading (and sticking to this fic)! You guys are the best!


	11. Chapter 11

Killua took a shaky breath. He didn’t think it would be so hard. That revealing (or atleast trying to) his background to Gon would make his throat tighten so much, that he can’t get any sound out of his mouth. He didn’t think that talking about his family would cause deeply buried memories resurface and make him want to hug his knees and curl inward. He really didn’t expect this.

He couldn’t say too much, only the things the black haired boy already knew: his parents were strict and controlling; the only addition was that he told Gon that they punished him for not obeying. He couldn’t go into detail so he didn’t tell about the beatings he received from his parents or Illumi, he only mentioned that he got grounded way too often, but he couldn’t say a word about the punishment room and how awful he felt locked away when it happened for the first time. He didn’t tell that when he started attending school Illumi or a butler (or both) escorted him and stayed with him until the first bell rang, and they were there as soon as his last class ended just to make sure he didn’t interact with others.

And more importantly, he didn’t say anything about the incident with his mother and Milluki. He told Gon how hard it was to convince his parents to let him attend school and he knew it was necessary to mention it, or else the story wouldn’t make any sense, but he just couldn’t bring himself to it. His throat tightened again and he had to stop, wait for a few minutes, focusing on Gon’s rhythmical breathing to be able to continue talking. His friend must have sensed it for he didn’t ask anything, didn’t urge him to go on, just sat there in silence and waited for him to collect himself and continue talking.

But he did talk about Alluka. Killua thought someone has to know about her, how wonderful and strong she was, and how she didn’t deserve being treated so badly. It wasn’t easier to talk about this, his throat closed up quite often too, but it was out of anger towards his parents and not because of reliving all the painful memories like when he talked about his own experiences.

Gon moved to his side at some point, he sat so close that their arms touched and normally it would’ve bothered him, make him flustered at their proximity, but instead, Killua appreciated it. This way he didn’t have to see Gon’s reaction to the things he told his friend, and their closeness helped him to relax. It was weird how natural it felt to be so close to Gon, how only his presence could help Killua to collect himself. When the memories became too much he focused on two things: warmth and _Gon_.

They sat in silence after Killua finished talking. He couldn’t guess how much he said – did he even say anything Gon didn’t know or didn’t expect already? All he knew that it wasn’t upsetting just for him; he could feel Gon tense up from time to time.

Killua had enough drama for the day so he didn’t wait for Gon to say something; he got to his feet to walk towards the cafeteria. It was somewhat alarming how much he missed Gon’s warmth already, but he chose to ignore it.

“Let’s go to eat, I’m starving!” He said over his shoulder, not really looking if Gon is following him. That’s why he felt his heart jump into his throat when he felt a warm hand grabbing his wrist.

He whirled around and was met with big, round eyes full with concern. Gon looked him straight in the eyes, his brown irises shining, burning, making Killua freeze like a deer in headlight. Gon then slowly slid their palms together, entwining their fingers. He was so gentle while looking at Killua with the same worried expression that Killua felt his chest tighten, but it was completely different from when he had to talk about his background. Gon’s hand was warm and a bit rough; he could feel callous on the other’s skin.

“W-what…?” He mumbled, because Gon was still staring at him in silence, and he felt heat rising up his cheeks.

“I’m sorry!” Gon finally said, though the apology only confused the white-haired boy more. “It was really hard to talk about it, right? You barely told me anything…”

“That’s…!” Killua started to protest, his stomach clenching nervously because he didn’t know how to continue.

“It’s fine!” Gon raised his voice a bit; shaking their joined hands to make sure Killua was paying attention. “I forced you to talk about those things even though I should’ve known… so that’s why, I’m sorry Killua!” He looked at Killua with pleading eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic, stupid!” Killua huffed, his voice calmer, but still a bit shaky. “You didn’t force me to do anything, okay?” He returned the handshake, sighing in relief when he saw a small smile appear on Gon’s face. “Can we go now?” He felt conscious of their joined hands and close proximity again.

“Killua!” Gon tugged at his hand, not letting him slip away, and it started to become, well, not irritating, because that certainly wasn’t, more like… he couldn’t grasp the right word, he only knew it made him feel wanting to run away and stay like that for longer at the same time.

“What is it?” He grumbled, starting to resemble his usual self. Gon noticed it too, because he gave him a toothy grin before looking at him with those serious eyes again.

“Thank you! I’m glad you trusted me and told me about your family!” Gon squeezed his hand, giving him a thankful smile. Killua was once again rendered speechless. “If something happens in the future, you can tell me! I promise I won’t say a word to anyone, okay?”

“Uh…”

“Ah, there you are… oh, sorry, did I interrupt something?”

Killua snapped his head towards the voice, and felt like he was going to die when he saw Kurapika standing at the stairs and eyeing them (better said their hands) with a slightly awkward smile. He yanked his hand out of Gon’s hold as if he was touching fire and his face certainly felt like it was on fire. The shorter one (as oblivious he was) didn’t care, he ran towards their senior with a loud “Kurapika!!!”

“You’re finally back too!” Gon exclaimed, and it snapped Killua out of his embarrassment. Did that mean the blonde was absent as well?

“Yeah, I am,” Kurapika nodded, a small smile on his lips. “But Gon, what happened to your face? Is it because…”

“Ah, no, that’s different…” Gon scratched the back of his head nervously, looking anywhere but into Killua’s direction.

The white-haired boy couldn’t help his angry grunt, what pulled Kurapika’s attention to him. Fighting off his previous embarrassment Killua joined his black haired friend.

“How’s your arm?” He asked, eyeing the thick cast on the blonde’s left arm.

“It’s broken,” Kurapika answered looking at his arm as well. “Could’ve been worse,” he added, mouth twisting with bitterness.

“What about Pairo? Is he alright?” Gon’s voice was full with worry and Killua was anxious to know it too – he remembered the condition Pairo was in when him the last time.

Kurapika gritted his teeth, his eyes glowing with anger just like when he was fighting the Spiders. “Those bastards hurt his eyes…” he bit out in a low voice. “If his eyes won’t heal he could get into the hospital.”

“Bastards…” Killua grit his teeth too, and he felt Gon fuming next to him.

“Kurapika, I…” Gon started, but their senior cut him off.

“I know, I can’t forgive them either,” he said, his eyes flashing with rage, his voice low. “I’m going to make them pay!”

Gon nodded vigorously. “We’ll help you!”

“No!” Kurapika protested sharply, his tone startling both boys. “No, Gon,” Kurapika shook his head, his voice softer after seeing their reactions, “I appreciate the offer, but I have to do this alone.”

“But why?”

“Because I caused you enough trouble already, that’s why!” Gon wanted to interject, but Kurapika didn’t let him. “I know that you all got suspended for a day and had to clean the toilets for a week. Knuckle told me,” he added seeing Gon’s baffled expression. His eyes then wandered to Killua. “I’m sorry, if you got grounded because of me.”

Killua averted his eyes. “No big deal…” he shrugged. “You don’t have to apologize though. Isn’t it natural for friends to help each other?”

His words were met with silence. He looked at Gon questioningly – did he say something strange? His confusion only grew when he saw Gon beaming, smiling at him happily.

“…What?” He looked at Kurapika for help, but even the blonde was smiling fondly. He started to feel quite uncomfortable; he didn’t think his words would warrant this reaction. “Did I say something weird?”

“Not at all,” Kurapika reassured him, his smile softening. “I just thought I have really good friends.”

“Oh my god…” Killua mumbled. Why was everyone so cheesy today? It didn’t really help the situation that Gon was still wearing that goofy smile, and he didn’t forget their handholding either. He burried his hands deep into his pockets and made his way towards the stairs. “Can’t we just go already? I haven’t had lunch yet and I’m starving!”

“Good idea,” he heard Kurapika agree. “I actually came to find you because a friend of me came to visit and I wanted to introduce him to you.”

“Really?” Gon sounded so excited, Killua couldn’t help but smile and he could do it freely because they couldn’t see him from where they were.

“I think you two will get along,” the blonde added, finally following Killua.

 

The cafeteria was already half empty when they arrived, what meant there wasn’t much left from lunchbreak. Killua quickly got himself something and made his way to their usual table. Gon was already sitting next to a tall man with short black hair and sideburns, munching on his lunch and chatting with the stranger. Killua immediately recognized the guy Gon was talking to, he was senior when Killua started school and he was the one who helped him, when Illumi gave him a small beating right before class for talking back. He could only hope the former high schooler forgot about it already.

“Yo, if it isn’t old man Rioleo!” He called out, when he got close to the table. He could see a vein popping on the guy’s temple.

“IT’S LEORIO!!!!” Leorio yelled, even before spinning around in his seat and glare at the white-haired boy. “You little brat, I see you haven’t changed at all, still being as rude as ever!”

“Why? Just look at yourself!” Killua sighed; pointing at Leorio as he settled down at Gon’s other side. “A suit? Seriously?”

Leorio flushed red, opening his mouth to tell him off, but Kurapika beat him to it.

“You look like a teacher like this, Leorio,” he stated calmly, taking a hearty bite of his food.

“Don’t you start his too, Kurapika!” The oldest of them snapped, jabbing a finger towards the addressed. “Y’all forgetting, that I’m the oldest here, so show some respect, will ya!”

“I wouldn’t brag about that…” Killua remarked, making Leorio tremble from anger.

“Now, now!” Gon waved his hand between them to prevent a fight. Killua just shrugged, focusing on his lunch while Leorio turned away like a sulking child.  “You two seem to know each other well!” Gon added after the tension ebbed a bit.

“Nah,” Killua waved his hand dismissively, “we just talked a bit a few times.”

“Oh,” Gon hummed, thinking a few things over. “And how did you met? I mean, you know…” he trailed off awkwardly, seemingly not wanting to mention the ‘you’re not supposed to talk to anyone here’ thing in front of the others which just made Kurapika raise and eyebrow and Leorio glance over from the corner of his eyes.

“Dunno, can’t remember,” Killua shrugged, trying to sound as casual as possible, but he could tell no one was buying it. Luckily Gon didn’t press on the matter.

The rest of the break went away uneventful, mostly Leorio talking about college and chatting with Gon (Kurapika was right, they got along well). However, when Killua got up to bring back his empty tray to the counter Leorio followed him.

“Hey, so…” the college student cleared his throat when they got far enough from the others. “Are things better now? You know… with your brother…”

Killua sighed. Of course Leorio remembered that incident… “Just the usual, but that’s okay. Nothing I’m not used to already,” he shrugged again.

There was silence between them, a bit heavy for his liking.

“Don’t stress yourself over it, old man, or else your hair will fall out!” He mocked, pulling out the other from his gloomy mood.

“Why you…!” It looked like Leorio took the bait, but he actually took a deep breath and massaged the bridge of his nose. “You can’t stop making fun of me, huh, kid?” He sighed. “Whatever… atleast you have someone who is looking out for you, right?”

Killua turned around to meet Leorio’s eyes with a bemused expression. Seriously, why was everyone so overly friendly to him? Or maybe this was normal, and he was the weird one for not knowing how to deal with it…? Looking away his eyes found Gon at their table, grinning at Kurapika despite that nasty bruise on his cheek and somehow the white-haired teen couldn’t find the will to disagree with Leorio.

“I guess you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert the usual "I'm sorry for being this late with the update" line here* ~~I'm really sorry tho~~
> 
> Here it is, _the talk_ between the boys! I feel like I should've made it into a bigger thing, like going more into detail, but in the end I decided against it. I don't think anyone with bad experiences likes to talk about them, and won't talk about them. Or atleast won't go so much into detail. I hope it didn't make Killua too ooc ORZ  
>  ~~also I tried to make up for it with some bonding huhu~~
> 
> PLUS there is Leorio!!! I felt bad for not including him into the story, so I wanted to give him some screen time. He is in college now, studying medicine (of course) and just dropped by to visit his old high school :)
> 
> A HUGE thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday the last time I updated, you guys are seriously the sweetest! It really surprised me and made my day so much better! :') <3
> 
> Thanks for reading and sticking with this story, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!


	12. Chapter 12

Killua always thought of himself as the calmer type – not someone who’s always restless and full of energy. Especially not in class – in fact, he felt a little proud of himself whenever he managed to stay awake during those hellish 45 minutes.

Now though, he felt like he could barely stay put, fidgeting in his seat and throwing impatient glances at the clock. He wasn’t the only one, most of the students couldn’t wait for classes to be over so they can rush home, it was Friday after all. However, that wasn’t Killua’s source of excitement, not completely. He too was happy about Friday because the weekend was there but this wasn’t going to be just some average weekend.

It was a weekend he would spend at Gon’s place.

Killua still had a hard time believing this was real – that his parents allowed him to spend a whole weekend at someone else’s, at _Gon’s_ house. Every time he glanced at the huge bag next to his desk he could feel his heart flutter with excitement and happiness, restlessness taking over him again. He expected his alarm clock to go off some time soon, waking him up from this wishful dream – only, it never happened. It was Friday afternoon already, in 30 minutes the bell would ring and school would be over for the week.

In 30 minutes he would gather his belongings and meet up with Gon at the school’s gates to walk to the bus stop.

 

This whole thing was Gon’s idea – naturally. They sat in an empty hallway, spending lunchbreak away from the lively buzz of the cafeteria. Killua suggested it, he wasn’t in the mood to put up with others and his friend didn’t seem to mind it.

“Killua?” Gon blinked his big eyes at him over his lunchbox. The addressed only hummed in response, too busy savouring the lunch Mito prepared for him (oh, how he’d missed it…). “Does Leorio know about your family?”

“…Huh?” Killua just stared at his friend, the suddenness of the question making him forget to chew.

“I met him yesterday morning you see,” Gon went on, “and we talked a bit. He asked me if we were friends and I told him that you are my best friend!” He beamed at the white-haired boy, puppy eyes on spot, his smile so bright it felt like it could outshine the sun. (Which was stupid, but Killua still thought so.)

“…And?” Killua asked, his mouth twisting into an embarrassed grimace, fighting off the urge to call the other an idiot for being so blunt. Recently Gon announced this rather often and it made Killua quite flustered (but happy nonetheless).

“And what?” Gon tilted his head to the side, having seemingly forgotten about what he was talking about.

“Weren’t you talking about Leorio? Geez…” Killua flicked the shorter boy’s forehead with feigned annoyance.

“Ah, right!” Gon thumped his fist into his opened palm, ignoring the stinging spot on his forehead. “So I told Leorio that, and then he said I should look after you.”

“No way…” Killua frowned in disbelief. “Why would he say something like that?”

Gon looked at him earnestly. “He said that you might not look like that, but you probably don’t have it easy, so I should take care of you. So this is why I thought you might’ve told him something.”

“Oh my god…” Killua groaned, burying his face in his hands. “What a nosy old man…! I told him to forget about it!”

“What happened?” Gon scooted eagerly closer, a pleading look in his eyes.

Killua looked away, trying his best to not get swayed. There was no point in being all mysterious about it though, especially since it happened long ago, and – Killua knew – it caught Gon’s interest since he first met the college student. He sighed in defeat.

“Illumi used to come to school with me, and one time we got into a fight. Leorio saw it and stepped in – he even wanted to report my brother…” he shook his head, laughing bitterly as he remembered the incident. “It took me forever to convince him that he shouldn’t care about this, but he was just as nosy as he is now. And well… that’s it,” he shrugged, hoping his brief explanation would be sufficient. He knew it wasn’t.

Gon sat back, his face serious. “He hurt you, right?” He asked in a low voice. “That’s why Leorio wanted to report him.”

“Does it matter now?” Killua sighed, the expression on his friend’s face serving him as an answer. “It’s nothing unusual for me, you know. And it’s not like I can do anything about it now, it happened years ago. Don’t worry about it.

“But…”

“Just. Drop it.”

There was silence, the sharpness off Killua’s tone hushing Gon.

“Sorry…” Killua mumbled after a few moments of awkward silence.

“No, I’m sorry for pestering you again!” Gon looked at him with round puppy eyes. A short silence and then: “is it bad at home?”

Killua was surprised by this follow up, but somehow the topic didn’t bother him this time, maybe because this time he didn’t have Biscuit wear down his defences. Or maybe because he knew he can talk to Gon about this. He could trust the other.

“Depends,” he stated matter of factly. “Weekdays are OK, because my parents work and don’t have time to pester me. But weekends are more annoying, because they aren’t so busy not to mention those stupid fancy gatherings they want to drag me to,” he shuddered with disgust. “Though everything is a lot better since Illumi started college. Luckily he doesn’t come home too often because he is a workaholic and studies all the time. Otherwise it would be awful.”

“Weekend huh…” Gon hummed deep in thought, looking in front of him. Then, face lighting up he turned to Killua with shining eyes. “Why don’t you come over to my place and spend the weekend there? Like this you won’t have to deal with your parents!”

“Err… what??” Now, this was completely unexpected, Killua was sure he wore the dumbest expression ever, but he couldn’t stop gaping at Gon.

“I’m sure Aunt Mito wouldn’t mind if you’d come to visit!” Gon just went on, seemingly oblivious about his friend’s astonishment. “What do you say, Killua? Isn’t it a great idea?”

“I… you… me… uh,” was all Killua could muster, but Gon just looked at him with an excited grin so wide, it must’ve hurt. “You mean…” he tried again, sorting out his thoughts, “like… like a sleepover?”

“Yeah, that’s right! We’ll have a sleepover!” Gon exclaimed, nodding vigorously.

Killua just sat in silence for a moment, letting the idea sink in. Going to Gon’s house, seeing where he lives, how he spends his days, _being_ part of his day… the thought made his stomach flutter with warm happiness. But that tiny bubble of joy popped just as quickly as it appeared.

“Gon… there is no way my parents would allow that,” he said bitterly with his head bowed, not wanting to see his friend’s disappointment. 

“You could ask them!” Gon suggested, being the hopeless optimist, like always. “You said that they aren’t so strict, since Ms. Krueger visited your house, right? So maybe they would allow it!”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Killua shook his head in disbelief. “We’re talking abour my parents here. Sure, they aren’t so bossy anymore, but they still dislike you.” Dislike was an understatement though, but Gon didn’t need to know that.

“You can still try!” The shorter boy insisted. “You can’t know that for sure without asking first!”

Killua just sighed. Sure, he could ask, pissing off his father so much he’ll earn himself a week-long trip into his punishment room, what a great idea! Though he really, _really_ wanted to spend the weekend with Gon…

“Yeah ok…” he nodded absentmindedly, making Gon perk up, “but you’ll be responsible if I get grounded because of it.”

“Right!” Gon nodded with a determined expression. “You can tell them that it was my idea, and that I insisted that you ask them. I’ll take the blame, I promise!”

“Jesus, Gon, stop being so dramatic, that was just a joke!” Killua grimaced, rolling his eyes.

“But I’m serious!” Gon whined, annoyed by Killua’s dismissive behaviour. “I really want to spend more time with you!” He leaned in close, looking at the white-haired boy with his best puppy eyes.

“ _Ugh,_ whatever!” Killua groaned through his clenched teeth, face heating up with embarrassment at his friend’s statement.

“YAY!” Gon exclaimed, practically throwing himself at Killua and pulling him into a bear hug.

“What the hell!” Killua squeaked, his face bursting into flames while trying to pry off the shorter boy’s arms off his torso. “What are you getting so worked up for, geez! I almost dropped my food because of you, idiot!

“Sorry!” Gon laughed, sounding anything but, not letting go of his white-haired friend.

Killua grumbled in annoyance. Being squeezed by Gon like this made him seriously wonder if he could deal with this for two long days…

 

Even so, he went to his father’s office that evening. It was an insane idea actually, but Killua still wanted to ask. He remembered Gon saying _you can’t know that for sure without asking first_ , and it was true, would’ve been true if this wouldn’t be the Zoldyck family.

“Come in!” Silva called out not long after Killua knocked.

The head of the family sat behind his desk with papers in front of him in disarray. He held one in his hands, his cold eyes quickly flying over it.

“What do you want?” He barked at his son, and without waiting for a response he went on, “if it’s nothing important then leave, I’m busy right now!”

Killua could see this wasn’t the right timing to bring it up, but he still answered calmly: “I came to ask you a favour.”

It looked like his words weren’t registered first, but when they got processed Silva set down the paper slowly and raised an eyebrow at Killua. He gestured his hand towards one of the chairs in front of his desk, beckoning his son to sit down.

“I’m listening,” he said, when Killua sat down.

Killua took a deep breath and looking straight into Silva’s eyes he said, “I want to spend the weekend at Gon’s place.”

The way all colour disappeared from the older Zoldyck’s face was almost comical, especially when in the next moment he turned red from anger. For a while he didn’t say a word, his jaw clenching tightly. The silence stretched on for a few more minutes, then Silva inhaled sharply.

“Why would you want to go to a place like that?” His voice was ice cold, trembling from anger.

“To spend time with him of course,” Killua said without batting an eye. He expected this reaction and he didn’t want it to discourage him. His father didn’t seem to be pleased with his answer.

“That lowlife…” he gritted his teeth but couldn’t finish because Killua stood up from the chair.

“Gon is my friend,” the white-haired teen said in a low voice, never looking away from his father’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what made him stand up to his father, was it the anger he felt because his friend was insulted, or just the thought of having Gon as a friend who he can count on? Either way, he couldn’t let his father insult Gon.  

Silva looked at him with an unreadable expression, seemingly not knowing how to react to his son’s demeanor. He then let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t have time for this,” he grumbled, raising his voice when he saw Killua open his mouth, “I’ll think about it. Now go!”

Killua stood there for a few seconds. “Thank you,” he nodded, then left.

He didn’t think he’d get the permission, but Gon was optimistic as always. It wasn’t like Killua got outright rejected, but it was very unlikely that his father would allow him to go to Gon’s place considering his reaction. The older Zoldyck was simply too tired and too busy to deal with the matter.

A whole week passed, when Silva called Killua to his office. He sat behind his desk just like last time, though he seemed less tired and more composed. He looked at Killua with narrowed eyes, assessing him from behind his glasses. When Killua sat down, he spoke up.

“You wanted to go to that commoner’s place right?”

“I still do,” Killua nodded. “I want to spend the weekend there.”

“The whole weekend?” His father raised an eyebrow in suspiciousness.

“Yes, because Gon lives far away and it takes a while to get there. A lot of time would be wasted just with traveling and we would barely have time to do anything,” Killua answered readily.

“How do you even want to get there?” Silva’s face started to become slightly pink and Killua knew what this meant.

“By bus,” was all he said. Knowing his father, he had to be careful now.

Silva snorted. “Pathetic!” He spat. “And do your precious friend’s parents even know about this madness?”

“Of course!” Killua fished his phone out of his pocket and offered it his father. “You can call them if you want, Ms. Freecss would gladly talk to you!” He only half-joked, he knew (hoped) his father would never want to talk to people like Gon and his family.

“Stop joking!” Silva almost knocked the phone out of Killua’s hand, his face turning into a darker shade of pink. He pinched the bridge of his nose again, trying to regain his composure. “We told you so many times, that you shouldn’t lower yourself to people like that, and yet you still hang around them. Why don’t you listen?” He slammed his fist on the desk, stationery and papers jumping from the impact. They held eye contact again, Killua still looking at his father with unwavering eyes. After a few moments Silva let out a long sigh. “If this is what is going to open up your eyes…”

“Wait!” Killua jumped up from his seat, the implication of his father’s words making his heart flutter with hope. “Does this mean I can go? You’ll allow it?” He couldn’t hide the excitement from his voice.

Silva looked like he regretted saying his previous words. Still, he tried to make it sound like he meant it as punishment. “Do what you want! I don’t care about any of this!” He spat again, turning away from his son. “Atleast you’re going to see with your own eyes what kind of people they are, and then you’ll understand why we wanted to protect you from them! You’ll be grateful!

To his dismay his words had no effect – Killua just thanked him and was out of the office before he could even blink.

In his room Killua dialled immediately, feeling almost giddy. He could barely believe it, he could really go…

“I can go! They allowed it!!!” He shouted into the receiver as soon as the other picked up.

“Really? YAAAAAY!!!” Gon was so loud Killua had to hold his phone in front of him, but he couldn’t be annoyed, he was just as happy as Gon was. “See, I told you Killua!” Gon exclaimed with excitement, and Killua wanted to argue first, but then he just laughed. It was still hard to believe that his friend was right. “Soooooo,” Gon playfully dragged the word, “next weekend?” The simple question was filled with eagerness; Killua could easily imagine the huge grin the shorter boy had on his face.

“You bet!” Killua grinned too.

 

The week passed without Silva changing his mind (what Killua feared would happen, considering the tantrum Kikyo threw when she heard about her husband’s decision), and here it was, Friday afternoon.

Only 10 minutes left till the bell rang.

He noticed Wing looking to his direction more often than not, discreetely coughing like he wanted Killua to do something. (Probably to pay attention. Well, maybe next time.) The man was talking too, but his calm voice faded into the background, Killua couldn’t even remember anything his teacher said. He looked at the board, there was something written on there resembling their homework for the weekend so he absent-mindedly copied it, then his eyes wandered to the clock again.

5 minutes. Still a lot of time.

He fixated his eyes on the hands, counting down the seconds, his ears waiting for the dismissing words to be spoken.

Then finally, _finally_ the bell rang and he jumped up and stuffed his things into his messenger bag, storming out of class just as Wing thanked for their attention and wished them a nice weekend. He ran through the corridors, slaloming around the crowding students. He knew it was ridiculous to get so excited, but he couldn’t help it, especially when he saw Gon waiting for him at the gates, grinning widely when they made eye contact.

“Are you ready?” The shorter boy wiggled his eyebrows at Killua, when he reached the gates.

“Stop this, you look stupid,” Killua just laughed and shoved Gon lightly. “Let’s go already!”

“Right!” Gon nodded wearing his usual toothy grin and grabbed Killua’s wrist without hesitation, pulling him towards the bus stop.

“Don’t drag me, geez!” Killua grumbled in annoyance, shaking Gon’s hand off. “I can go on my own.”

“Is that so?” Gon cocked his head to the side, a playful glint flashing in his warm eyes. “I thought you would fall behind with all those bags slowing you down.”

“In your dreams,” Killua drawled crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I’m the fastest in the class and I’m sure I’m faster than you, even with the bags,” he bragged.

Instead of answering Gon just flashed a challenging grin at him and turned on his heels, breaking into a sprint without warning.

“Race me to the stop then!” He shouted back and increased his speed.

“Why you…!” Killua cursed, immediatelly going after his friend.

 

“You’re fast,” Gon complimented him as they both slumped down in their seat, panting for air.

“I told you,” Killua said, a smug gring slowly making its way on his face. “It was a draw only because I had two bags and you got a headstart. Otherwise I would’ve won.”

“Oh really?” Gon nudged his Killua’s leg with his foot. “Next time I’ll race you when you don’t have your bags then.”

“If you insist,” Killua shrugged, nudging back. “But I’m going to win, just saying.”

“We’ll see!” Gon just stuck out his tongue at him, then looked out the window.

Killua followed suit, watching the unfamiliar scenery rushing past them, streets, buildings and more and more greenery as the bus left the outskirts of the city.

“Hey, hey, Killua!” Gon exclaimed with excitement, startling the addressed with his sudden loudness. “Look at that tree! Doesn’t it look funny?”

Killua followed Gon’s finger with his eyes, barely catching sight of that tree his friend must have meant. “It looks like a peace sign,” he mused, an amused smile spreading on his face while he “returned” the gesture to the bypassing plant.

“Right?” Gon grinned, amused by his friend’s actions. “I always wanted to show you, I knew you would like it!” He flashed a sunny smile at Killua, who just looked at him with an incredulous expression, a light pink flush slowly spreading on his cheeks.

It didn’t even take a minute when Gon pointed out the next thing with the same enthusiasm, this time an abandoned building, then another one, and another one – it almost felt like they were on a field trip. The bus ride was almost 2 hours long, but Killua didn’t mind it at all. When he wasn’t listening to Gon’s chattering or trying to see what the other wanted to show him he just leaned back and stared out the window in silence, taking in the unfamiliar scenery as much as he could. It was really refreshing to see something different than his hometown, and (as embarrassing the thought sounded) it was never boring as long as Gon was there with him.

 

They stretched long after getting off the bus, sitting in one place for almost 2 hours made them quite stiff, Gon making a satishfied grunt when his shoulders popped loudly. Killua just stood there, looking around. The bus stop was deserted, only the two of them standing there. There weren’t many houses either; he spotted a small store towards the end of the street, but it didn’t look too well-stocked. When the wind picked up a bit he smelled salt in the air, could hear the roar of the sea from the distance. The whole place gave off a very rural atmosphere.

“Let’s go before it gets late!” Gon’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “It can get very dark because whe don’t have street lights here.”

“You’re kidding,” Killua tried to conceal the horrified look in his eyes by hiding behind his bangs, but his tone was telling.

“I’m not!” Gon nodded like it was the most natural thing in the 21th century that there was a place where there wasn’t any lighting on the streets. Then a mischievous smile appeared on his face. “Are you scared?” He mocked the white-haired boy.

“No way!” Killua shoved Gon by his shoulder, his face heating up with embarrassment.

“I was just joking! I know that Killua is very brave!” Gon smiled sweetly, totally unphased by Killua’s shove and started walking down the street. “Don’t worry; I have a flashlight with me!”

All Killua could do was to grumble to himself, Gon’s statement making the flush on his face deepen. Shoving his hands into his pockets he followed the other lest he loses sight if him, the night started to fall already after all.

“This place isn’t too crowded,” he noted after a few minutes of walking in silence.

“Mhm,” Gon hummed agreeing, “there are more houses near the port because the market’s there. Here aren’t too many things, that’s why it’s more deserted.”

“It must be a pain to do the shopping.”

“It’s OK, we have the market, lots of ships sell their stuff here. And Aunt Mito travels to the town from time to time if she needs something that she can’t buy here.”

Killua just listened in silence, this lifestyle being so foreign to him. As a child from a rich family he had always everything within his grasp as soon as he worded his request. To think that he’d have to travel hours to get into town to be able to shop to his heart’s content… And Gon talked about it again as if it was natural, as if it wasn’t inconvenient at all.  Maybe for him, it really wasn’t, he was used to this, growing up in this kind of environment.

This was the first time he saw the difference in their upbringing so clearly, still, it didn’t bother him at all. It was more appealing than repulsive.

“We’re almost there!” Gon announced and grabbed his wrist again, but this time Killua didn’t pull away. The warm hold calmed him for once, since the thought that they’ll arrive at Gon’s place made him nervous for some reason.

They turned a corner and Killua could see it too, two buildings at the very end of the street – a small bar and connected to it a two-story building, Gon’s house. Light was pouring out from the bar’s windows and the voices of the people inside got louder with almost each step they took.

“Quite lively in there…” Killua murmured already worrying about how difficult it will be to fall asleep, if they keep this up.

“It’s Friday after all,” Gon chuckled, then tugged a bit on Killua’s hand. “Don’t worry, you won’t hear anything in my room, the walls are very thick” he said as if he could read the white-haired boy’s mind.

They finally got there, Gon peeking in the bar’s window as they reached the building.

“Looks like Aunt Mito left the bar already,” Gon noted dragging Killua towards the house. “I bet she wants to make something yummy since you’re coming today.”

Killua just hummed, his nervousness increasing with each step and it was kind of ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. Gon must’ve sensed it, because he sent a smile towards him before opening the front door and pulling Killua with him into the foyer.

“I’m home!” Gon yelled, finally letting go of Killua’s wrist so he could take off his shoes. 

Killua heard rattling and shuffling from the nearest room, a delicious smell wafting to him as a red haired woman stepped out. She smiled gently at them, pulling Gon into a warm hug.

“Welcome home!” She said, and turned to Killua when she let go of her nephew. “You must be Killua! I am Gon’s aunt; you can call me Aunt Mito! Welcome, make yourself at home!”

He always felt awkward around adults; most of the time he remained silent or (if he couldn’t avoid it) made a short small talk and excused himself as soon as he could. This time it was totally different, because this was Gon’s aunt, and he really didn’t want to leave a bad impression or be impolite. Her smile was so familiar to Gon’s that Killua could only nod shyly and mumble a faint “thank you!”

Still, she must have heard him because the look in her eyes softened as she ushered them inside. “Dinner is almost done, so please get ready and come down!”

“Allright!” Gon grinned and waved for Killua to follow him upstairs.

Gon’s room was the farthest away from the stairs and as they entered it and Gon closed the door they could really barely hear the dull roar coming from the bar next door. The room was simple and spacious, the few furnitures taking up little space. The walls and the carpet were both light colored, making it more welcoming. It was surprisingly neat; the only thing that seemed to be out of place was a mattress next to Gon’s bed – obviously Killua’s bed. The sheets had the same color as Gon’s.

“Nice room,” Killua complimented, getting rid of his bags and walking around the room to take a better look at everything.

Gon just beamed, putting down his own bag, watching Killua as the boy looked through the books and comics on his shelf.

“I have this CD too,” Killua smiled as he showed said CD to Gon.

“We can listen to it later,” Gon offered. “I have a player in the closet.”

Killua nodded and put everything back to their place. It was a bit weird but also nice to know that there was a band they both liked since their tastes were so different.

“Dinner is ready!” They heard Aunt Mito’s voice from downstairs, so they made their way back to the kitchen.

They were greeted by a nicely set table full with delicious dishes. It smelled so good that Killua’s stomach rumbled loudly, earning a wide grin from Gon, who stood right next to him and heard it. The black haired boy sat down next to an elderly woman whom Killua haven’t met yet, Gon’s great-grandmother, he guessed. The old lady looked at Killua.

“You must be that friend Gon talks about so much,” she said and smiled. “Come, sit down anywhere you like!”

“Thank you,” Killua bowed his head, trying his best to not flush at her words. Did this mean Gon talks about him?

Before he could think more about it, Aunt Mito sat down too, and the three Freecss' clasped together their hands and closed their eyes, remaining silent for a few moments – they prayed, Killua realized a second later.

“Let’s eat!” Mito said, turning to Killua when they finished saying their thanks. “Eat as much as you want, you don’t have to hold back!”

She didn’t have to tell him twice. He filled his plate with as much food as he could already knowing from her lunchboxes how good she could cook. The dinner was indeed incredibly delicious, he couldn’t even compare it to the food he ate at home, and it was supposed to be made from the best ingredients. It was lively at the table, Gon telling his family about his day then urging him to do the same. Everything was so different than what he was used to. At home they didn’t say a word while eating, had to keep perfect manners even though they had no reason to keep up their appearances since there wasn’t anyone to judge them. It felt almost like they were at a funeral everytime they sat down to eat a meal.

Another difference in their upbringing spotted. And this one was something Killua never realized he missed, until he experienced it.

When they finished eating Mito stood up immediately to clean up the table, Gon getting up to help her. Killua wanted to offer his help too, even though he never did this, he felt bad just sitting there and doing nothing. But Mito just smiled and declined politely, giving him a cup of hot cocoa instead. Grandmother sat at the table too, enjoying a cup of tea in silence, listening to Gon’s and Mito’s chatting and occasional bickering with a content smile on her lips. It was a peaceful evening, Killua felt fatique catch up to him, his eyelids getting heavy, stifling a yawn as he stretched his arms.

 

“I’m not going to take the bed, I have the mattress!” Killua gritted his teeth, being tired of having to say this over and over.

“But Killua, you’re the guest, I can’t have you sleep on the floor!” Gon whined being the stubborn idiot like always.

Killua let out a frustrated huff and ruffled his hair. They were arguing about who will sleep on the bed for like 30 minutes now, and it was the most unnecessary argument Killua ever had. Since this was Gon’s room and Gon’s bed, it should have been obvious that he would sleep on the mattress, but Gon insisted that it should be the other way. It didn’t matter how many times Killua told him that he was fine with the mattress, Gon just wouldn’t drop the subject.

“Gon, I swear to god…” Killua started but was interrupted by the click of the door.

“Boys, what is this ruckus about?” Aunt Mito stood in the doorway looking at them with an inspecting gaze.

“Gon is being stubborn, that’s all,” Killua answered quickly, shooting a piercing side glare towards his friend.

“But it’s Killua who is the stubborn one!” Gon puffed up his cheeks. “He doesn’t want to sleep in my bed, even though he is our guest!”

“Why would I want to sleep in your bed? This is your room and your bed, I’m fine with the mattress, I already told you!” Killua let out an exasperated sigh.

“Gon, Killua!” Mito interrupted them before they could start arguing again. “I get your problems, but stop fighting, you’re being loud! Decide quickly and go to sleep, it’s late already!”

“Yes Ma’am!” They said in unison, making the woman smile and leave the room.

“Hmm, then let’s play rock-paper-scissors!” Gon suggested. “The winner decides who gets the bed!” He held out his hand.

“Okay!” Killua agreed, holding out his clenched fist too.

It was childish, but still the fastest way to end this stupid quarrel, and Killua really wanted it to end. He was too tired for this nonsense.

To his surprise (and mild irritation) Gon won.

“You’ll sleep on the bed!” The shorter boy announced with a triumphant grin, seemingly proud of himself and pleased by the outcome of this short competition.

“Allright, allright,” Killua sighed with resignation, climbing reluctantly into Gon’s bed.

As soon as he lay down his nose was full with Gon’s scent and he was trying his best to fight the urge to bury his face deeper into the pillow. Biting at the inside of his cheek he made himself comfortable, a content sigh escaping him as he felt his previous sleepiness return. He didn’t care about Gon; now that the argument was over he supposed the other was busy making a comfortable bed on the mattress.

That was why his heart almost jumped out of his chest when he felt the mattress of the bed dip under another person’s – Gon’s – weight. His eyes snapped open.

“Scoot over,” Gon said, holding a pillow and a blanket in his hands.

“Huh?” Was all Killua could muster, his mind going blank. Was Gon really going to do what he thought?

“Scoot over,” his friend just repeated his previous request, looking a bit impatient now.

“But… didn’t you say that the winner decides who sleeps on the bed?” Killua sat up, not taking his eyes off of his friend as if he expected Gon to do something unexpected (what he actually did).

“Mhm!” Gon nodded.

“Then what the hell are you doing?”

“I want to go to bed of course!” Gon had the nerve to look annoyed. “You didn’t want me to sleep on the floor, but I didn’t want you to do that either, so we both sleep on the bed. It’s a win-win situation!” Once again Gon seemed very pleased with his idea.

A moment of silence. Then…

“WHAT THE ACTUAL…” Killua almost shrieked, but couldn’t finish because Gon pounced on him, covering his mouth with one hand.

It happened so suddenly, it made Killua freeze with shock, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Before he could regain his composure and kick Gon off, the shorter boy pointed with his free hand towards the door and mouthed _Aunt Mito._ Killua listened closely, and indeed, after a few moments he could hear footsteps fading into the distance. His friend finally let go of him and both of them let out a relieved sigh.

“See? There is enough space for both of us!” Gon whispered after another few moments of silence.

Killua wanted to argue, because Gon was almost lying _on top of him_ , but when he shifted to gain some space it really wasn’t so cramped.

“Do whatever you want!” He huffed; turning around to hide the blush on his face, though he was sure Gon saw it already.

All he got as answer was a pleased little hum, and it made him smile, but it was okay, since Gon couldn’t see it this time. His heart rate picked up again when he felt the mattress dip under Gon’s weight and he tried his best to remain still. Gon wriggled a bit next to him, then the quiet returned.

“Good night, Killua!” The soft whisper was followed by a warm hand caressing his arm.

“Night Gon,” Killua mumbled when the fluttering in his stomach ceased enough for him to be able to speak.

He wasn’t worried about the noise coming from the bar anymore. All he could hear was his own hammering heartbeat and Gon’s soft breaths. And that, he found, wasn’t bothering him too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (late) Holydays! I hope everyone had a good time! :)  
> Sorry for being late again, I wanted this to be ready for Christmas. Also, sorry if some parts are wonky, I started writing this chapter a long time ago and I always did it when I got home from work very tired... I hope the length of the chapter will make up for it!
> 
> On another note, sorry to say this, but don't expect a new chapter this year! I'll be working even on the 31th so I don't think I'll have time to write. But I try to pull myself together in January!
> 
> On another side note, some of you might have noticed, that I put "I finally met you" on a small hiatus. Life got a bit too much for me to handle, and I just couldn't keep up with writing two fics at the same time, I'm very sorry about it! But I plan to return in January, and I hope I can bring out a new chapter!
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading, see you next year! :)


	13. Chapter 13

She was screaming again, her boney fingers grabbing a fistful of his hair, her other hand slapping him were she could reach. It hurt. Not the punches or the tugging in his hair, but the lies.

Because she was lying. Always lying.

“We just want the best for you!”

Lies.

“I hate to do this too.”

_Lies!_

“We’re doing this, because we love you!”

_LIES!!!!_

The hits just continued, followed by similar lies and it was enough. It was too much. They always told him they loved him, but then why did they hurt him? Maybe he hadn’t had friends but he’d met a few kids when his father invited his business partners over and he saw how they’d treated their children: holding their hands, patting their head or their back, hefting them into their arms when there was something wrong. Killua had never seen them hitting their children; let alone saying they love them while doing so.

It was enough. Soon his mother’s screams were fading into the background while the words echoing in his head grew louder.

Lies.

Enough.

No.

_STOP!!!!_

He swung his arm forward and suddenly the hands disappeared from his hair and stopped slapping him.

It was quiet. Strangely so. Even the words that ringed in his ears moments before ceased, his mother was silent too, except for a few small whimpers that escaped her.

It was weird. It was like all colour disappeared from the world, the only remaining one being crimson, that covered his hand and his mother’s face. Killua didn’t understand anything. He wanted her to stop but he didn’t know what happened. Looking at his stained hand he saw something in his palm, a small object also covered in red.

Then his mother twitched, a cry leaving her shaking lips. A pained cry.

That was all Killua needed to connect the pieces and he froze with fear. _What has he done?_ He really just wanted to shut her up, to make her stop; he didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to sink to her level.

His legs moved on their own, distancing, leading him away from the thing he just did. What will happen if they find out? He had to run away. He was so afraid... if they see what happened, they’re going to punish him, hurt him more than ever. He had to run away.

There was a hand on his shoulder grabbing him firmly. Was he found out so quickly? He had to get away so he tore himself out of the hold but suddenly his back was pressed against cold wall and he found himself in darkness.

Still panting for air he blinked a couple of times, waiting with pounding heart for his eyes to adjust to the sudden change. Soon he could recognize a few things around him and it confused him even more. He was in bed but not in his own room and right in front of him sat a very worried Gon. It was when his friend reached out and took his hand when he finally understood where he is and what’s going on, he was at Gon’s place and they were having a sleepover. He let out a shuddering exhale and let Gon pull him away from the wall.

“Shh, it’s okay, Killua!” Gon murmured pulling him further, into his arms. “It was just a nightmare!” The black haired boy wrapped his arms around his torso, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

Killua stiffened at the contact, but mention of the nightmare quickly snapped him out of it.

“No...” he shook his head as violently as he could. He felt his throat close up as if an invisible hand strangled him. Gon just kept rubbing his back, trying to hush him, but he couldn’t stop choking on the words that needed to be said. “It wasn’t...” he tried again, focusing on Gon’s warmth to collect his swirling thoughts.

“It wasn’t a nightmare?” Gon asked as if trying to help him and he nodded in response, intent in stiffling the sniffle that threatened to slip out, failing miserably at it.

He felt so pathetic but Gon didn’t say a word, just rubbed his back, gently rocking them back and forth. He felt pathetic for acting so weak in front of his friend, even letting said friend baby him, but the most embarrassing part was how good, how soothing all this babying felt.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, shutting his eyes as he buried his face into Gon’s shoulder. It was surprising how well he fit in there considering their height difference. “It wasn’t a dream. I did it. A long time ago.”

“What?”

“I stabbed my mother.”

The silence that followed his words was deafening, even Gon stilled and it felt like the world stopped too. Killua regretted everything; he should’ve known that even Gon would be disturbed by this. He wanted to pull away, get as far as possible so he wouldn’t have to face the judgement that was inevitable now, but was stopped by Gon’s arms.

“What happened?” Gon asked and his voice sounded alert, ss if he really wanted to know but Killua hesitated. He couldn’t be sure why Gon asked, what kind of reaction the truth would elicit from him.

After a few moments of silence Gon’s hands dropped from around his back and the boy moved away. Killua didn’t move an inch, didn’t even look up – until a pair of warm hands lifted his head up and forced him to look into molten gold eyes that shone bright even in the dark.

“Killua,” Gon pronounced his name with such gentleness it made his chest tighten. “You know you can tell me! We’ve been friends for a while now so I know that you wouldn’t do something like that without any reason.”

The amount of relief that washed through him was too much; he had to bite his lips to keep quiet. Gon dropped his hands from his cheeks to entwine his tanned fingers with pale ones, a blinding smile following this gesture and Killua almost cried. Maybe he even did a bit.

“I had enough...” he whispered with quivering voice, staring at their joined hands. “They’ve been telling me lies about how much they’d loved me and that they’d just wanted the best for me, but they’d alway just... hurt me. I’ve seen it, Gon, I’ve seen how other parents had acted with their kids and they’d sure never done the things my parents had to me,” he took a shaky breath, cursing inwardly when he felt tears trickling down his cheeks. He couldn’t wipe them because he needed his hands for that but he didn’t want to let go of Gon calloused ones. They made him feel safe. “You know, they didn’t want me to attend this school first, we had countless arguments. They wouldn’t have allowed it, if I...” his voice craked with a sob, his throat tightening again. He couldn’t say it out again. “It wasn’t... it wasn’t intentional, I just... I just wanted her to stop hitting me and then it happened. I was so scared...” his tears didn’t stop at this point; they rolled down his cheeks shamelessly. After a loud sniffle he continued: “Sometimes when we have a fight, I’m afraid that I might do it again...”

In the next moment he found himself in Gon’s arms again, but this time he clung to the other boy as well, clutching his friend’s shirt while he wailed like a child. All the while Gon just rubbed his back, repeating the same words over and over: “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault,” and that was what broke the dam in him completely.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but his tears stopped after a while, leaving wet stains on Gon’s sleeping shirt behind. Killua exhaled slowly, his breathing wasn’t so ragged anymore either.

“Sorry about that,” he murmured into Gon’s shoulder. “It happened long ago, I don’t know why I dreamed about it now...”

“You don’t have to apologize for that, Killua,” Gon hummed, emphasising his words with a few pats on his back.

He wanted to pull away, feeling more and more conscious of their proximity, but Gon didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all for he still held Killua close.

“You can let go of me now, I’m okay,” he hoped he didn’t sound rude, but he really needed some space.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Hmmmm,” Gon hummed as if he contemplated Killua’s request, then shook his head. “Nope!” Without warning he sank back, pulling down the white-haired boy with him.

Killua rolled off to the side immediatelly and hissed: “What the hell are you doing?” when he gained enough space. That didn’t last for long though because Gon pulled him close again, resting his chin on white tufts.

“Sleeping,” was the only answer he offered and Killua wanted to punch him.

“Stop messing with me!” The white-haired boy growled, the idea of punching that idiot becoming more tempting.

“But I’m not messing with you!” Gon whined, obviously displeased by Killua’s reaction. “I just want to make sure you won’t get any nightmares for the rest of the night!”

“Huh??”

“Aunt Mito always hugged me like this when I had a nightmare and it always worked!”

“But I’m not a kid anymore!” Killua really started to lose his patience.

Apparantly so did Gon. “So what?” He retorted. “That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be comforted when you’re upset!”

Killua fell silent. There it was again... something that was so foreign to him, but came so naturally to Gon. Still, he couldn’t give in so easily.

“Honestly, this is embarrassing...” he grumbled, but Gon just chuckled, probably sensing that he wasn’t too far from victory.

“You’ll get used to it!” Came the chipper answer.

“As if!!” Killua hissed, stopping himself from shouting in the last moment.

Gon pulled away just enough so he could peer at his friend’s face. “Come on, Killua, it’s just me! There’s no need to be embarrassed!”

And that was exactly what the “problem” was, Killua thought, but didn’t say out loud. Being this close to Gon made his heart flutter and chest tighten, and that was enough reason to get embarrassed.

“Relax!” Gon said, sounding like he is already on the brink of sleep.

Still, he nuzzled his face into Killua’s hair with a content hum before placing his chin back on the top of his head and Killua seriously wondered if Gon did this on purpose. Being the naive idiot he was though, he had probably no idea. Surprisingly, Killua felt his eyelids getting heavy as well, the nightmare and all this crying tired him out. If he wanted to be honest with himself (which he didn’t really want) being held by Gon like this was quite nice, so he closed his eyes and let sleep catch up to him as well.

* * *

He was woken by sunlight hitting him square in the face. He groaned, yanking the blanket over his head in the hope he could sleep in for a bit, but a sudden loud crushing sound immediately jolted him awake. He sat up to look for the source but he was alone in the room, the spot next to him was empty too. The noise must have come from downstairs, Killua concluded with a yawn, but he wasn’t awake enough to go and check it out. Sleeping in was still the more alluring option so he lay back down, but before he could get into a comfortable position the door opened and Gon peaked inside. When their eyes met the dark haired boy’s lips stretched into a sunny smile and with a few light steps he was inside the room.

“Good morning!” His voice was so chipper that Killua seriously wondered what this kid was made of. “I was just about to wake you up! Did you sleep well?”

Killua pulled the blanket over his head with a groan, not ready for proper communication so early in the morning. Okay, maybe it wasn’t so early anymore, but it was Saturday and he just woke up. With another unintelligible grunt he peaked out from under his makeshift hideout – only to find Gon grinning at him like he is something hilarious.

“‘s too early...” he slurred while glaring at his friend, but Gon’s grin just widened.

“It’s past 8, Killua,” Gon stated, kneeling down in front of the bed and propping his elbows on the mattress.

“It’s Saturday!” The white-haired boy groaned a little louder, still intent in staying in bed for a little bit longer.

“It is,” Gon agreed, his smile softening. “Looks like you slept well, if you don’t want to get up yet. I’m glad!”

Killua’s cheeks immediatelly flushed bright pink as he remembered the previous night – he really slept in the same bed with Gon while _hugging_ Gon. It became uncomfortably warm under the blanket, still, he pulled it over his head again to hide his flushed face. It certainly didn’t help him calm down when he heard Gon laughing, it really pissed him off but it was also charming at the same time.

“By the way,” Gon said still chuckling, “breakfeast is ready! Aunt Mito made pancakes!”

Killua’s head emerged immediatelly from under the blanket. “Chocolate-chip pancakes?” He asked hopeful, trying to detect traces of his favorite sweets in the already mouthwatering smell that wafted over to him.

“Mhm! I asked her to make them for you,” Gon nodded beaming. Then a teasing glint flashed in his eyes as he raised one eyebrow. “Still don’t want to get up?”

“Tch, fine!” Killua clicked his tongue with faked annoyance, glaring at Gon when he saw his friend’s triumphant grin. He got up and stretched, making a satishfied grunt when his shoulders popped loudly. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

Gon was back to his feet in an instant, bouncing to the door and grinning at him from there. “You’re just like a kitten, Killua!”

He was out of the door when the white-haired boy threw a pillow at him, leaving behind a beet red, cursing Killua.

* * *

“Hey, is this...” Killua took a framed photo from Gon’s desk to take a better look at it, leaving the question unfinished because it was almost unnecessary to answer it after he examined it.

Still, Gon answered eagerly when he stepped behind Killua to see what the white-haired boy was referring to. “Yeah, that’s my dad, Ging!”

Killua just hummed, observing the picture in his hands. It was a photo of Gon and Ging, probably taken in front of the house or maybe in the backyard, but it didn’t really matter. What caught Killua’s attention was the similarity of the two, though Ging had a rather untidy appearance with his stubbly face and tattered clothes, but they looked really alike.

“This doesn’t look too old,” Killua pointed out.

“It was taken last year when he came to visit,” Gon explained with a nostalgic smile, though it turned a bit sheepish as he went on, “I wanted to have a normal picture of him because the only one I have isn’t so good.”

Gon opened one of his drawers and after a short rummaging he handed Killua another photo. It was obviously a much older one, showing Ging kneeling in front of a motorbike, but Killua wasn’t too sure. The picture was taken on a sunny day judging by the bright colours. Ging was obviously younger, though it was hard to see because of the shadows on his face casted by the brim of a worn cap.

“This wasn’t the first time you met him, was it?” Killua gave Gon back the older photo.

“No, I met him before too, though he didn’t stay for too long this time” Gon smiled again, sounding cheerful despite of what he just said. “I guess Aunt Mito was yelling too much at him for not showing up sooner and he got tired of it...”

Killua just frowned, placing back the photo back to its original spot. It was hard to imagine Mito acting like that, though he noticed the lack of photos of Ging in the house so he guessed that she wasn’t too fond of her cousin.

“Is she angry at your dad?” He posed the question, hoping it wasn’t a sensitive topic.

Gon looked to the side, a small (and maybe a bit nervous) smile appearing on his face. He sucked in a breath before letting out an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I think she is... Ging left me here in her care when she was very young. I’m sure it was hard for her, I can be quite troublesome sometimes...”

“Idiot!” Killua interrupted his friend, flicking his forehead with a bit more force. “If Mito’s angry, then it’s on your behalf, dumbass, and not because you’re causing her trouble! She is angry because Ging left you,” he shook his head in disbelief; he didn’t think Gon would think like that. “Mito would be sad had she heard that.”

Gon laughed sheepishly again, rubbing the spot where Killua flicked his forehead, the look he gave his friend made the white-haired boy swallow. The amount of relief and gratitude that shone in Gon’s eyes made it clear to Killua how long his friend must’ve struggled with these negative thoughts and he could only hope that Gon would stop thinking like that from now on.

“Thank you, Killua!” Gon smiled warmly and Killua rolled his eyes, returning the smile nonetheless, ignoring the heat that spread on his cheeks for once. “Ging isn’t so bad like Aunt Mito says though,” the black haired boy said chuckling. “He brought me a game as present last time! I just can’t play with it because I don’t have a Joystation.”

“Oh?” Killua perked up at the mention of the game. “Which one?”

Instead of answering Gon started rummaging in one of his drawers again, turning back to Killua with the aformentioned game in his hand. When his blue eyes fell on the disk case Killua felt like he was struck by lightning. Gon held a copy of Greed Island in his hands.

“You’ve got to be kidding me...” he mumbled, his eyes still glued to the game.

“Do you know it?” Gon raised an eyebrow in confusion and Killua finally looked at him with gaping mouth.

“If I know it? This...!!!” He pointed at the game with shaking hand, his voice catching in his throat from excitement. “This is Greed Island, a freaking famous game! It’s super hard to get one because only a few thousand copies exist. Is that thing even real?”

“Of course it is!” Gon said with an offended frown, but Killua ignored it, reaching towards the game with a maniac look in his eyes.

“Gimme that!” He said, snatching the case out of Gon’s hands. Suddenly, to Gon’s bewilderment he burst into a fit of almost hysterical laugh. “If Piggy knew...” he wheezed between two laughing fits.

“Piggy?” Gon looked alarmed at him, probably questioning his mental well-being.

“My brother,” Killua explained after he calmed down a bit. “He wanted to buy a copy on an auction but someone outbid him,” he giggled at the memory then looked at the game in his hands. “If he knew that you have a copy...”

“Well, I only have one because Ging made it,” Gon shrugged. “What?” He asked when he saw Killua stare at him like he grew a pair of wings.

“Ging did what?”

“He made the game,” Gon repeated. “Not entirelly, but he wrote the story, the rules and stuff like that.”

Killua looked back at the game in his hands. “Nigg,” he mumbled, as if talking to himself. “One of the creators was Nigg. Nigg as anagram of Ging. Now it totally makes sense!” He grinned, then glanced at Gon with awe. “I heard this game is extremely hard to beat... Your dad must be amazing!”

Gon beamed at his words like thousand suns, though a little frown appeared on his sun-kissed face soon after. “Too bad I can’t play with it...”

“What if I bring my Joystation next time?” Killua offered, intent in helping Gon but also curious about the game. “It would be a shame if you couldn’t play with the game your old man made.”

“You would?” Gon gaped. His excitement seemed to decrease as a thought crossed his mind. “But would your parents allow it?”

Killua just waved his hand. “I have a spare one in my closet. It’s not so big, so I can hide it between my clothes, they won’t notice it. So, how ‘bout it?”

“That would be awesome!” Gon exclaimed happily, sending another grateful smile towards Killua.

“Okay, then I’ll bring my Joystation!”

The white-haired boy felt just as excited, he couldn’t wait until next time even though this weekend wasn’t even over yet. Gon put the game back into the drawer but they just couldn’t drop the topic. When Mito called them down for lunch they still talked about the game, their excitement making the young woman smile after they told him about the plan, showing her that maybe Ging wasn’t that bad if he could make his son happy with such a small thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, I'm here with a new chapter! I'm very sorry for the long wait, I had a few things going on...
> 
> This chapter is one of the few chapters where I actually knew what I'm writing LOL xD (I suck at planning the plot ORZ)  
> There is no sleepover without cuddling and why not add some hurt/comfort to make it better? o3o  
> Also yay for actual HxH references :D
> 
> Aaaand also very important: After the fourth time turned one year old in February! I wanted to update then, but life was a bitch again and I couldn't find the time for it... Tbh when I started writing this I thought it would be already completed by now (how naive of me PFFT)
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and bearing with me! You guys are the best! <3


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